So I invite this chick over to my place for a wine date. When she comes over, I pour us some wine and place the glasses right in front of my sofa on the balcony and go sit there. When she comes to the balcony she immediately takes her glass and goes sit on the furthest possible chair from me and tells me she doesn't like to sit next to someone on the first date. I tell her I don't bite, but it doesn't help at all, she doesn't want to sit next to me. Irregardless of this I run my usual wine date game on her except every now and then I try to get her closer since escalating from the other end of the balcony is next to impossible. I must have tried in like 5 different ways but none of them worked. After like the 4th attempt she tells me she doesn't want to fuck me or even be close to me, and that's the reason for why she doesn't want to sit next to me. I do not believe that any of my attempts to get her closer were creepy or uncalibrated. I've been doing wine dates every week for almost a year now so I know very well how they work. Anyways, I try and dig deeper as to why she's so set on not fucking me and she tells me she doesn't have sex on the first date unless it's a fuck date, and she doesn't consider our date a fuck date since I invited her to drink wine š¤¦āāļø There's no way she's being serious though as wine dates are considered fuck dates in my country and even girls who do not want to fuck on the first date are okay with being close to me, so there must have been a much more serious issue with attraction here. She actually hints at this because at one point she tells me she has so many options she doesn't need to fuck everyone she meets up with. She's definitely not a prude either as she told me she's once had a gangbang with 4 different dudes. Anyways at this point I've tried pretty much all I can with regards to getting her closer, so as a last resort tactic I try something I've read from Chase Amante a while back that's specifically used in situations where the girl is extremely unwilling to cooperate. What you basically do is you remove all of your attention from her and just browse your phone. This should ideally make her either chase you or leave, but to my complete surprise, she didn't seem to care at all. What ended up happening is we BOTH browse our phones in complete silence for like 15 minutes. She doesn't even try to leave which I find very odd. She just sits there at the other end of the balcony browsing her phone in complete silence. At this point I just give up and decide to end the date. I could tell her ego was kind of bruised by this because she didn't say anything or even look at me. I'm no blackpiller but I seriously wonder whether this could be a case of the girl not being interested in me due to my looks? I'm already very good at doing wine dates and can't really think of any another reason for why a girl would be so unwilling to come closer to me. Also, what options do I have when a girl doesn't want to sit next to me?
Posts by Eddy M
Joined 5y agoSort By
This was a very straightforward same night lay from yesterday. Might actually be the fastest lay I've ever had from dating apps. The whole conversation happened within a span of 1 hour or so. I usually avoid going to a chick's place on the first date but my spidey senses were telling me she's DTF so I was like ah fuck it. I was fairly surprised at her straightforwardness since her profile said she was looking for a relationship. I guess it just goes to show you should never trust those things. Once I get there she immediately leads me to her bed. I could have probably gone for the kiss right away but I wanted to build some comfort first. We got to talking about her hobbies and she said she likes to write poetry. She showed me some of the poems she's written and I was honestly speechless. Not because they were super good, but rather because they were so weird. They were all these radical feminist fairytales about oppressive white men. I actually found it pretty ironic since here I was, a white man, laying on her bed. After being silent for a couple of minutes I just said "these are pretty interesting, not bad" to which she replied "Okay I'll take not bad". She then told me she's lived in Helsinki for around 2 years so I asked her if she's learned any sentences in finnish yet. She told me she's only learned one sentence which is "Can you fuck me really hard." She said it's the most imporatant sentence. I agreed with her. Then pretty quickly after that I just leaned in for the kiss. Shit escalated quickly and I started fingering her. To my surprise she suddenly went down on me and gave me a blowjob without even asking. She was REALLY good at it. It was literally the best blowjob I've ever had. No feeling of teeth whatsoever and lots of spit. After that I started fucking her in doggy but pretty quickly we switched to missionary because she complained there was too much ass clapping noise coming from the doggy and she didn't want her roommates to hear us. Once we switched to missionary there was no more ass clapping noise, but now the bed was constantly slamming against the wall and making a noise that was just as awkward. She tried to hold her hand against the wall but it didn't help at all. Needless to say, her roommates definitely heard me railing her. After I nutted I started fingering her as I was pretty confident she didn't cum. This turned out to be a lot harder than I thought though. She occasionally let out a moan when I switched the positions of my fingers, but then going with the same position for longer just seemed to make her numb. I fingered her for probably like 15 minutes and then she got tired and just took my hand away and started cuddling with me. We cuddled for a few minutes and then I asked her if she had a vibrator. This was probably a mistake though as she took out this really weird looking G-spot stimulator which I was absolutely clueless about. I told her to show me how it works. After showing me I just kept it there and sucked her neck and tits while using it. Surprisingly she wasn't able to cum even with this thing. I think she was close a couple of times but she just couldn't let go or something. She told me that it's okay as she has difficulty cumming in general. I told her not to worry about it. We then started cuddling again, and maybe like 20 minutes later, I started escalating on her again but after fingering her for a minute she told me her pussy is too sore so I just stepped back and returned to cuddling. On this last cuddling session she was basically just holding me like a giant teddy bear and looking like she was sleeping. She had her eyes closed and didn't ask a single question from me. I wasn't sure whether she wanted me to leave or stay, but eventually I got bored of this and just got up and started to put on my clothes. She then led me out of her room into the hallway and we kissed a couple times before leaving.
As in how often will a chick you bang meetup with you again? My retention rate is around 30% but I'm curious as to what others have here.
I've noticed that every now and then after I have a sex with a girl on a first date she will make up some excuse to leave. Sometimes literally like 5 minutes afterwards. Usually when this happens I never hear from her again. I'm assuming that there's some kind of an underlying issue here that the girl doesn't want to reveal to me but I'm pretty clueless with how I could make her say it. So far I've tried to be completely nonchalant about it and just let the girl leave, but I've found that this isn't very ideal since then my chances of hearing from her again are basically zero. I've also tried to lightly address the issue by asking if they're alright, but that never helps either as they just make up more excuses. The weird thing is that whenever this happens to me, it doesn't seem to affect their willingness to have sex with me WHILE they are still there. I've sometimes managed to turn this around into round 2 by teasing them a lot sexually when they're about to leave, but it never helps with seeing them again, and they will just leave immediatly after round 2 is over. So my question is, does anyone know of a good way to bring out the underlying issue in cases like this?
So this chick was supposed to come over for a wine date tonight but once I sent her my address she got queasy for whatever reason. She told me my place was too far even though she lived only 6 miles away, which is absolutely nothing in my city. I feel like there might be an underlying concern but I'm not sure what it is. Here's our conversation: (Wednesday) Her: Hey are we still good for tomorrow? Me: We are š is 8PM good? Her: Yeah I suppose it's fine Me: Alright great (Thursday) Me: My address is (sent her my address) shoot me a message once you're in the lobby Her: Is this somewhere in (the part of city I live in)? šš Me: Yeah it is Her: That's pretty far Me: Lmk if you want to cancel Her: Yeah 40 minutes with public transportation is too much for me, I probably couldn't even make it home tonight š¬ sorry we didn't talk about this earlier š Me: Where do you live? Her: In (part of city) Me: Okay well I can come pick you up Her: Hmmh nah I don't want to bother you š I mean if you'd drive all the way here you should just stay over but that would require me to cleanup first so we're just gonna have to skip this date Me: Well that's unfortunate since I can't reschedule for any other day this week The "Lmk if you want to cancel" was definitely a high-risk move but with all the investment she had given me before I didn't think she'd actually bite. She hasn't answered anything to my last message. Any suggestions on how to re-engage her?
So this is a chick I banged on a wine date a few days ago. After the sex she told me she was hesitant at first to let me escalate because in her experience whenever sex happens on the first date it always ends up being a one night stand, even when the guy tells her he's interested to see her again. I told her I'm not interested in one night stands and wanted to see her again. As a show of good faith I got her number right then and there (she didn't give it to me before). I probably should have closed her on a new date at the same time, but for some reason I told her I'd hit her up later. This was probably a mistake considering how insecure she was. I hit her up the next morning and here's our conversation: Me: Guess who Her: You š Me: Well you're not wrong š Her: Correct š Me: How's your schedule this weekend? Her: I have nothing planned for Friday or Sunday Me: Okay we should meetup on Friday afternoon then (24 hours later) Her: Yeah (12 hours later) Me: How does 4PM sound? Her: Sorry I can't because I'm too sore from a leg workout with my personal trainer š©š© Me: Sounds tough Her: It was Me: I forgot to ask, how long are you staying in my city? Her: I'm leaving on Sunday š Me: Oh damn. In that case we'll have to meetup on Sunday before you do (36 hours later) Me: Unless you prefer a one night stand... Her: I don't but I partied too hard yesterday and something weird happened to my stomach and now I feel really nauseous š©š© Me: Sounds like a hangover š but my point was the 2 hour drive between us is gonna make things a bit hard Her (voice note): I visit your city very often so... it's completely up to you if you want to meetup again or not (she sounded depressed) Me: I definitely want to meetup again. Like I said I'm not a big fan of one night stands. Feel free to hit me up once you get back to my city Her: For sure! I'm glad to hear that š I'm not very convinced she's going to hit me up once she does come back though. I think she might be hurt and in some kind of auto-rejection mode because I noticed she updated her Tinder bio to say "looking for something serious" even though on our date she specifically told me she doesn't want to get into a relationship yet. What's the best move here if I still want to see this chick again once she comes back to my city?
Alright so this is going to be a fairly long post as I don't think it's possible to explain this situation in a short way. Basically, I started casually dating this chick last autumn. Three months in just before she was supposed to leave for abroad, she confesses that she's developed feelings for me. I confessed that I had some feelings for her too. She told me she could not promise we'd keep seeing each other after she comes back as she would be gone for almost 5 months and that we should date other people meanwhile. We still decided we should facetime each other every now and then because neither of us wanted to end things. For the first 2 months or so it was once every week, but then it regressed down to once every two weeks. Around this time she told me she was coming back to my city for the weekend to surprise her family and that she wanted to come visit me as well. She stayed over at my place for one night and then went back abroad again. After this we still continued doing facetimes once every two weeks until at some point it just died out completely. She didn't call me and I didn't call her. I didn't want to chase after her so I just let it die out. I decided I would just hit her up once she comes back if I hadn't heard anything from her by then. During the last couple of facetimes we had I felt like she was actually trying to make me jealous by some of the stuff she was saying, like for example how all her friends have someone they're crazy about and she doesn't. Since we were only FWBs and not in a relationship I was very nonchalant about it. She admitted herself she doesn't want a relationship so I'm not sure what she was trying to accomplish by doing that. Four weeks go by and I still hadn't heard anything from her, even though by now she's definitely back in my city, so I decided to hit her up and set up a cuddling date with her. She was very receptive through text, no objections or anything. At first when she comes over we cuddle, do some catching up, and then have sex. This is basically what we do every time so nothing new there, but then maybe like 1 hour into the meetup, she suddenly tells me that as hard it is for her to say it, she feels like it's best we don't see each other anymore as she's lost feelings for me and she's afraid they might resurface if we start seeing each other again. She then asks me what I was hoping would come out of seeing her again. I said I was hoping we would continue seeing each other casually now that she's back. She responds that I shouldn't have a problem finding girls to see casually and that I don't need her specifically. I just agree here since she isn't wrong about that. The weird thing is even though she says all this, she's still acting all lovey dovey with me by cuddling and kissing me in the neck etc... In fact we continue to cuddle and talk about various random stuff for like the next 2 hours after this. Then when she's finally about to leave she tells me she wants to give me a proper goodbye and hugs me. I could tell she was pretty sad so I told her "it's alright these things don't usually last this long." She then starts to cry and tells me how my place has always been a safe haven for her and that she's very thankful for that. At this point she starts crying even more and I start to cry a bit as well. She then says maybe it wouldn't hurt to text me sometime and that we'll probably still see each other somewhere. I then kiss her one last time and we say goodbye. I'm just left pretty confused by this and would appreciate some insight. First of all to recap, she tells me she's lost feelings for me, but she still wants to cuddle and have sex with me, and then bursts into tears when she leaves? that doesn't really sound like she's lost feelings. Neither of us want a relationship so having no feelings involved would actually be ideal. What exactly happened here and is it still possible to recover this?
So there's this old FWB of mine who went abroad for a couple months but is now back in town. The thing is, she has not hit me up about being back even though it's almost been a week since she returned, so I'm not sure whether she's lost interest or just busy. We used to call each other like every week but then slowly over time we stopped calling and texting altogether (just kinda died down and I was busy with other chicks). It's now been like 5 weeks since I last talked with her. What would be the best way to reconnect with her? I was thinking about texting "How's my favorite swede doing" but I'm open for ideas.
I've never had a girl who showed high-interest on the opener downright reject my soft close, so I'm pretty confused as to what happened here. Her: You're very handsome in your profile pic Me: You're looking very good as well š Her: Thanks Me: I like your outfit in the 3rd pic Her: Haha thanks š Me: Will have to wear it on our date Her: If our date is in the summer then fine šš Me: I was thinking more like next week Her: Well then you're going to have to bring some sunshine here šššš Me: Maybe I will. You like wine? Her: š yeah I drink sometimes Me: Perfect let's split a bottle sometime soon (4 days later) Me: If you're too nervous, I'd understand Her: Nah I'm not that interested
So this is a chick I matched with on bumble. We chatted for a while and then I soft closed her. Everything seemed to be fine until the day of the date. I noticed she was giving me these one word answers but I wasn't sure whether there was an issue so I didn't bring it up. She then of course ended up flaking on me with a pretty bad excuse. This is the conversation beginning from the wine close: (Thursday) Me: You drink wine? Her: Yes Me: Perfect let's split this bottle of pinot grigio I have sometime soon Her: Sounds good Me: Do you have plans for this weekend? Her: Yeah I'm going to (city) Me: Well fuck we'll have to do a rain check for next week then Her: Next week should be fine (Sunday) Me: How did your trip go? Her: Pretty good I visited some family while I was there Me: Nice š you'll have to tell me more on our wine date Her: That sounds nice Me: Do you have any plans for tomorrow? Her: Pretty sure I got nothing Me: Okay š¤ well how about we meetup tomorrow evening then? Her: Sounds good (Monday) Me: Let's meet at 7PM. My address is (my address) Her: Okay Me: You planning on driving here? Her: No Me: Alright š (7.20PM) Me: What's your ETA? (8.50PM) Me: (sent her a screenshot of her bumble profile where it says she is always going to be honest and speak frankly about everything) Me: So about speaking frankly... Her: I didn't get any notifications from bumble and I accidentally fell asleep for a bit too long š Me: You woke up pretty conveniently immediately after I sent that Her: I already woke up at 8.30PM but you don't have to believe me š Me: It doesn't really matter whether you're telling the truth or not because the bigger issue is you don't seem to respect my time She stopped responding after that but honestly I wasn't really interested in meeting up with this chick after she sent her "excuse" so I'm not looking to salvage this anymore. I'm just interested in whether I fucked up here at some point? The only thing I can think of is maybe I should have soft closed her again since we didn't speak for a couple of days...?
