as usual I fucked it up with the lack of control over my sex drive...

she came to me few days ago and asked to not have sex because she is in pain and need to get up early and she slept 2 hours the night before and I pushed for it anyway
we did had sex but later she wasn't sure about what we had because I was like an teenager that all he care about is sex (I have insane labido and very passionate and this is why I'm very very good at sex even though I don't have a lot of experience)

so we did enjoy it but after that she started having doubts about it because I was too pushy and it hurt her

we did have a conversation about it (to remove any bad blood between us, i did apologized but not in a needy way and I didn't make the conversation between us heavier than it should be) but she wasn't the same and she said she want to think about it

I decided to end it myself instead of waiting for her to say if she want to get back together because I know that even if she did want to get back together it will not be the same

it was a nice lead though :\ a perfect combination between fun in bed and general chemistry

2nd date is not scheduled yet
and most of our text was playful conversation
the meetup was boring
for some reason the in person communication was boring AF

ill post the text before the date and after the date soon

when she bring up the timing for sex I usually say something like "I don't put a timer on these kind of stuff, if it happens it happens"
usually she agree and it removes some of the pressure

also you can always say to her something like "hey if you are worried i would run on you, don't I'm not going anywhere" this is another common fear women has that a guy would fuck her and never text her back or something

thats fine i fixed it by saying i was in a shitty day and although im not going to apologize for it because this is who i am and she got to see me at my worst and this is fine
we are fuck buddies now :)