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Posts by matt black

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My strategy has been to number close quickly off the app and banter a bit via text, suggest a meetup (I try to suggest the meetup only when I know I can meet fairly soon after so the conversation does not fizzle out) I notice that the further away the date is, the more texting thus the more chance to mess up and texting to much before the date leads to a false impression of her or she of you. I can get them on a date fairly easy once I spot that she has some interest, then I through some flirty/fun teasing, after I set the date I try not to fall into the back and forth conversations. Most first dates I like to go for drinks but I notice it feels more of a meet to see how it goes instead of her knowing for a fact she wants to hookup. I have been getting better at dating and most dates seem great, I do not come off as too platonic after a few drinks I find myself enjoying myself but never find the right time to make a move since it feels like its too quick. After the first date I usually I follow up and suggest meeting up but never goes anywhere. I am realizing that instead of just going on any date with any match that I should frame it in a way where it could get sexual and screen more. I look at the dates more of practie but now after being on 7 dates I feel like I am lost. I already read Alex's products. I am wondering are most girls just looking to hookup on first dates, it seems like they never want to go on multiple dates to see where it goes and try to build something.

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I noticed that I have been having success when I match with someone who is actually texting back and I do not text her to much/wait to text back. I found out the hard way that texting to much before meeting up can kill the vibe/say the wrong things/etc. I am trying to meet up a recent match this coming Wens but it may extend later into the week. She messages me back right away I have started some sexual banter with her. I did not text her to day because I do not want to fall into the trap again of texting to much and it dying out but yet I also do not want to make it seem cold. Any tips?

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I feel like I am spinning wheels with online dating. I do not have alot of experience and just started researching all this about a year ago. I would not say I have gotten better with women even though I have been reading and researching alot, I would say I am more aware of what to do and the situation I am in. I had recently went on a first date, through text I was trying to flirt and playful and although she was responsive I could tell she was little dull. On the date we met up for 2 drinks on a week day happy hour. I can tell off the bat that the girl was more formal (a career women 26 who lives alone, and likes to live alone she said). I found it very hard to get the conversation to get in anyway playful sexual, although we had great conversations I can tell it was getting to platonic even though in the back of my mine I was trying very hard not to. We parted ways and I texted her next day to let her know I enjoyed the drinks. She said she did not feel a romantic connection. Can somone explain if they have any similar situations and if they can provide insight as to what this means, how would we create a romantic connection in 2 hours when she isn't open to being romantic. We basically matched had a few back and forth texts and met up, so I doubt I came off different from my texts and my photos are pretty up to date. I have had a similar instance about 1 month ago and honestly felt like the same situation and same type of women (career women/non playful/flirty) I am starting to get more experience and could tell through the texts pre date that her interest was enough to go on a date but not excited and on the date I could feel the same vibe.

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I went on two first dates over the past two weeks and they both went really well. She was engaged in the conversation, was not boring. Was touching and all. The issue I run into is closing. But also these girls clearly are looking for a relationship (now I know that they just say that and will have one night stands) but the frame that I came into it with is "Lets go out on a first date and see how it goes" After the first date I followed up with "I had a good time, let me know when your free, comment", She replied saying she enjoyed it to and after another one or two messages they did not answer, granted it is the weekend and they were busy as they mentioned I can understand why they did not reply. MY question is should I follow up or wait until they reply to my text. Also I am looking for some guidance on how to close or to gauge whether or not they are not trying to go on a second date because they know it could lead to sex/intamcy?

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I am trying to figure out a situation with a girl at work. A new girl at work started a couple months ago. She seemed to be into me by the way we talked, I flirted with in a PG way since its work, teasing her and all, laughing, I can tell she was into it by the way she would stare at me, laugh, play with me. Then all the sudden she kind of became slightly cold, not locking eyes with me, not engaging in conversation (as much). Do you think I am overthinking it or was it because I may have played it to safe and didn't make a move? Since it is work I wanted to wait and not be to direct. I slightly pulled back on engaging with her as well but still talk to her and play with her when I want.

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I have been getting matches and been working them into phone numbers and dates. I have been working on not texting to much before the date because I find that leads to flaking since there is no mystery and it is easy to accidentally talk your way out of it. I have been on a few dates and they all seem to go very well, no awkward energy, I am able to keep a convo, build some tension, flirt and add little bit of physical contact, I notice while it is good to tease and incorporate physical touch I do not see the intimacy building, I do try to escalte but there comes a point when it comes off as not matched energry and I do not want to be overly eager so I do am not aggressive about trying to kiss at the end and it just ends in a partial hug. The second date does not seem to come ( I do follow up once or twice) I think the girls that I am going on the dates with are just looking to take things slow. I am not sure why they would go on a date if they were not physically attracted to me, I look the same in my pictures. I know my issue is possibly not sexualizing the conversation and it seems like the matches give off relationship vibes.

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