I have been getting matches and been working them into phone numbers and dates. I have been working on not texting to much before the date because I find that leads to flaking since there is no mystery and it is easy to accidentally talk your way out of it. I have been on a few dates and they all seem to go very well, no awkward energy, I am able to keep a convo, build some tension, flirt and add little bit of physical contact, I notice while it is good to tease and incorporate physical touch I do not see the intimacy building, I do try to escalte but there comes a point when it comes off as not matched energry and I do not want to be overly eager so I do am not aggressive about trying to kiss at the end and it just ends in a partial hug. The second date does not seem to come ( I do follow up once or twice) I think the girls that I am going on the dates with are just looking to take things slow. I am not sure why they would go on a date if they were not physically attracted to me, I look the same in my pictures. I know my issue is possibly not sexualizing the conversation and it seems like the matches give off relationship vibes.
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
Are you screening these girls before meeting? Are you seeing if they are gonna respond to sexualizing in person and so on? Are you trying to invite them over first? All of these things will give you information whether the girl itself is wanting to take things slow, or did you just run bad game in person
20 Posts (+44), 109 Cmts (+59)
I have this problem too although I’ve gone on second and third dates. My issue initially was calibrating attraction to comfort and physical touch. A woman might be attracted but not ready for touch so you need to work on comfort. If there’s no attraction and only comfort you’ve landed in the friend zone like many of us have. Use online dating as the attraction phase with light sexual overtones, on the date just dhv, read the IOIs, get her to qualify, build comfort so she knows you’re not looking just to bang her once. Alex has been in the game for a long time so don’t gauge you’re sexualization to what he can do. It’s okay to take it slow as you’re learning.
6 Posts (+6), 3 Cmts (+1)
What was your experience on the second or third date ? How many have you been on? Do you try to get touchy early and how do you gauge whether it is to soon?
20 Posts (+44), 109 Cmts (+59)
I always start a second date with a short tight hug and keep my hand on the lower back while a pull away and compliment something she's wearing even if it isn't all that interesting. Dates for me should always be fun so I plan stuff that sounds cheesy but works like mini putt (Toronto has a bar that has mini putt which is a perfect combo), Playdium, etc. so that we can laugh at each other, cheer on each other, high five, and so on. Light compliments that aren't frequent are good, make sure your conversation is about POSITIVE experiences instead of facts. If you feel she's vibing with you, smiling at you then looking away, playing with her hair, and all that then it's time to flirt and try some less platonic touches. If you touch and she pulls back then just hold off a bit more.
This all works on a first date too, which I'm actually doing more these days instead of the second date. I was always too timid to suggest these activity dates because they're like something out of high school. I'm no PUA nor am I pulling lots of women to bed, but if you're like where I was two months ago, this has been working for me to get more comfortable in my own skin which also makes the women more comfortable to be around me. They pick up nervous energy and sometimes you really can't get rid of it unless you take the pressure off yourself and practice talking, flirting, and touching. I fucked up a lot at first, I still fuck up but less.
Your other question, I've been on about 15-18 first dates (estimate), 8 second dates, and 5 third dates. In the beginning I hardly got to any second dates.
44 Posts (+21), 550 Cmts (+363)
Massive inner work. I just aim to get the woman beside me at a bar, and then I feel invincible. I know how much women love sex, want to feel attracted to you and are hoping you'll powerfully lead them there. Offering value means being man to woman and escalating in a calibrated manner that comes with not just experience, but balls and confidence as well. Women want it so bad, take responsibility to lead them there and see yourself as the right guy who they desire. Massive inner work!
Edit: also, you should not only be going for a kiss at the end. You gotta pick organic moments where a kiss would be appropriate, and fuckin go for it. You May get the cheek, that's fine, just back off and change conversational topics and keep leading the interaction, then try again when it feels right (as long as she doesn't say otherwise).