Comments by Kenneth D
Joined 4y agoWell, it's good to trust your instincts, and I'm only an outsider looking in. You're likely more familiar the situation than I am (this is just a slice of context you've shared), but from what I can I see--at face value--she's telling you you're "low key weird" and that your response "didn't make sense", and while it's ok to take long to reply, that's generally when there's a legit reason. What was your reason here? Because you were asking other people what to say next? Women tend to have good instincts, why wouldn't she sense something is off? Like, that's not generally considered common behavior--and certainly not "alpha" behavior.
That isn't to say that you did anything wrong though. It seems like you're still in the process of learning your text game and there's nothing wrong with the approach you've taken. I think it's just worth pointing out though that this approach will not always work, and definitely not long term. Having default responses it normal, but if they're not YOUR default responses that may end up being incongruent.
As for what I would have done different. I think the big anchor point was when she expressed that she was willing to get to know you. At that point I would have given her the chance to. Seems like you hadn't quite built up attraction (likely because your profile is lacking--an attractive profile can do most of the work for you) and was asking you to pretty much display some more value. Instead though, you persisted in a negative way.
Looks like you're using a lot of the canned/default lines from the forums to me. And when you leave her on read, is it because you're asking about/or figuring out what to say??? Honestly, I believe you're not coming across as your authentic self and she can sense that and is naturally sus. I can't offer you specific advice here because I've never experienced anything like this, but I hope you can see how it can fuck you up to use too many canned lines and take long to reply because you're trying to figuring out what to say next! Luckily, she did say she would like to get to know you. Let her. Be present for the interaction. Open up to her and trust that being yourself is attractive. If it doesn't work out, I promise you that there are other girls out there.
Well, seeing as Mystery's background is in being a stage magician, I always figured that "peacocking" and having "routines" was more about his personal style--one other's happened to have had success adopting. But ego too, I'm sure. A lot of people in this community (especially new ones) stake their ego on women. Even JMULV admits that his abusive childhood set him on an approval seek path.
To point 1: I think you can still have a mutually wonderful shared experience with someone who, as you say, has "issues". For one, they're human too, and like just about every other human: wants to fuck. But I've never come across that problem, personally. I wonder if that's because I've never had "intentions" to communicate? I don't approach with intentions. I guess my intentions are more like "You seem like you might be great. Let's see where this goes." And if we ever come to a point where we can't agree on where we want it to go, then that's that, and I've never really had someone be overly hurt. Also, even if they have "issues" when you meet, I don't see why you should assume that those things won't be resolved over the course of you knowing them.
2: I'm not versed in this at all. But I do know weird hippie people with unconventional family structures and lifestyles, who have children. Makes me wonder. At the end of the day, you probably know what's best for your daughter, and I'm sure you'll do the best you can. Whatever you decide on might be a challenge either way, but I don't equate challenges as negatives. You also mention morality again here and I'm not clear on how this a moral issue? Obviously, you want to optimize your daughters wellbeing, but is that a moral quandary, when it comes to dating, or just a practical one?
3: Sounds like you're being loss averse. I'm not sure if there's a completely sure fire way to predict how a girl will react to lay count, but either way, does it matter? If she's disgusted, or whatever, so what??? Personally, I don't keep count, and if I'm being honest, it's probably because I'm relieving myself of the responsibility of knowing-- but also, I lost my virginity when I was 15, so I've been sexually active for a long time now, man, hard to keep track! But anyway, I think Alex has a video on the subject, if that helps, and I believe he said you should be upfront about it.
I've only skimmed through The Game, but did watch the VH1 show because I had a friend who knew Alvaro (I'm from Miami too--funny how I've known of of a couple of people on reality shows... or porn sites). I've never really been a PUA, but the stuff I picked up did help a lot in college, and I would say college was a highlight for me.
I'm 38 and never married, but have had a quite a few LTRs since then, and am currently in an open one, but COVID (and time, in general, as you pointed out) has changed things a lot, and that's what lead me here. So I can relate.
I think being a family man is good--important even. One of my challenges this year was having a family member pass, and realizing that as my mother is going to need me to take care of her as she gets older (don't know why it didn't dawn on me when I was younger, but it feels like something not many people talk to you about). So I think that you having a daughter is great and that you should probably focus a lot (but not all) of your energy on being a good father to her.
But that said, life is your oyster. Do whatever you want. I think you're good at this point.
One of the problems with the Mystery Method is that his personal style was all about performance. Which is fine for him, I guess. But I think that's what leaves people with the impression that "game" involves lying or deception.
I like how Alex defines game: "communication skills, social skills, inner beliefs, etc." Which, even if you're good at, can always be improved. That said, there are more practical applications to game too. Things that anyone can learn from experience, but can get you ahead if you learn from others. For me, just getting the best use out of all these new apps (fucking algorithms!) and how calibrate my texting (I've NEVER been into texting before!) has helped a lot.
So, to me, "game" isn't about hedonism--there's no "ethical" implications. To me, this pursuit is about opportunity. Being able to open yourself up to experience so many great things with women, is priceless. And if one day, you're walking down the street, and an incredible woman walks past you, do you really want to miss that opportunity? And do you wanna waste time fumbling around trying to figure how to seize that opportunity yourself (and you could), or don't you think it would be better to use the Internet--one of humankind's greatest accomplishment--to learn and collaborate with others?
Same as you, man. Bought the Blueprint in part to support a local business, y' know? ;)
I lived a just a bit more north of you, but moved in with family a couple months ago. Thinking of the next step. I kind of know where you're at (and that it's logistically as prime as you can get in this city) and that you have a roommate, but can I ask if you bought or are leasing?
Really feel your COVID story. I've been working out for the last few months, and I really don't want to catch it because--among other things--it'll really set me back on my fitness goals.
That said, I'm the same size as Tom Holland so, coincidentally, he's also my #goals. I'm 38, and when I was in college, I was about the same as him. He was 140lbs for the first Spider-Man, I believe, and I was 145lbs. Last year, I was about 160lbs and was definitely getting dad bod vibes. Nine months later, I can say that my workouts have been pretty consistent, but my diet has not been, but even so, I'm at about 165 now, but much leaner. My stomach is now flatter, my pant waistline has loosened, but my trailered shirts are now too tight around the shoulders and arms (I especially feel it when I roll up the sleeves).
So at this rate, if I cut a little more, without loosing too much muscle (hard, at my age), I think I'll get there in a few more months. I believe Tom Holland is also at about 160lbs. So, yeah, I think the 1 year estimate seems accurate.
Granted, I've not gone to gym at all. I started working out at home with my bodyweight and eventually incorporated barbells (and steadily increased the weight), and have only recently started incorporated deadlifts. Diet wise, I have not deprived myself of the occasional pizza, burger, or pastry, but I eat really clean 90% of the time. So if your diet is stricter, and you have access to more efficient workouts and equipment, could be faster.
On the topic of PEDs: I don't think the side effects are worth it for me. Even if only as minor as possible acne. But it all comes down to genetics. If your testosterone is exceptionally low or body composition isn't ideal, it could help you where you'd otherwise struggle. As for me, patience, consistency, and dedication has gone a long way; even at 38. I think my genetics are pretty good though. Most people think I look like I could be in my late 20s or early 30s. YMMV, but good luck, brother.
I'm on the Facebook Mastermind, and compared to the top guys there, it seem noticeable worse. Assuming 5 is average, your profile comes across like a 6 or 7--better than most average guys, but doesn't really stand out compared to them. Competition is rough!
That said, you are a good looking guy, and you'll be alright, but there's room for improvement.
I work in Miami and went to uni in Canada, actually. Been to Alberta lots. Not sure, we're on the same wavelength, or whatever, but I'm always down to wing. DM me, if you'd like.
Well, this is under the assumption that you're trying to have sex with her. That's the ultimate purpose and the phone call is a means to an end. Keep that in mind: means to an end. If you're end goal is not sex though, adjust accordingly. But "getting to know each other" is basically qualifying or building comfort.
You are "getting to know" if you want to have sex with her, by qualifying her--you would ask the questions you want--or whatever--until she's qualified. Once done, phone is call over.
She wants to "get to know you" so that she is comfortable sleeping with you. Either because she doesn't want to feel like a slut, make sure you're not a creep, further asses your value, etc. In that case, you may need to dig a little to find out what her objections are, but she may just screen you/give you shit tests without you having to prompt, in which case, just pass. Once she's satisfied, phone call is over.
That's it.
Now, I do know that sometimes people (especially long term couples) talk on the phone just to talk. They enjoy each others company, miss each other, wanna connect somehow, or whatever. But I don't suggest getting into the frame so early. Even if your goal is not just having sex with her, you're going to get much more attachment and investment from her (varies) once you do have sex, so I recommend making that your primary and immediate objective.

4 Posts (-1), 50 Cmts (+18)
I remember seeing a video on this phenomenon somewhere on YouTube, but no matter your SMV, if you're the highest in your group, you get a boost--even if you're like a 7 among 6s. It's hard to compete in that situation.
As as far as I can reckon, the only way around this is talking to your friend and asking him to actively wing for you. To have him boost you and maybe even disqualify himself to the girl you're interested in. If he won't help you, I'm not sure there's much you can do to compete other than treating him like a standard AMOG, which is probably problematic.