“Too Busy”
Matched with this girl before the holidays. I was out of town for three weeks so the interaction had a bit of a delay in it. I tried soft closing last weekend and she was “sick” and now says this. I feel like this usually means she’s not interested or has some other objection. Haven’t had to use any takeaways or anything up to this point. Thoughts?
Maybe go with “ah that sounds stressful, but honestly I’m busy too. I’m sure if we put our heads together we could find an hour to grab a quick drink or coffee”
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18 Posts (+0), 57 Cmts (+19)
I would stop messaging her or send a simple 'sure' see if she's being sincere, most likely not and you should move on
0 Posts (+0), 148 Cmts (-58)
Yeah bro, she already had an excuse, which was fair but this one is rather silly. She's not studying 24/7. Your suggested text is fine
I think she's just being honest with you. She's still responding pretty positively and actually sending very invested texts. If she wasn't interested, she would either not respond or send short texts.
It seems like the last couple of texts have been you pushing for the meetup. Your next text generally is solid, and I don't have the whole convo, but if you keep pushing too hard, you'll probably cross into needy territory and lose her.
I'd pull back a bit, and try to build some more investment again. Maybe sprinkle some flirting in there too, since the convo feels a bit dry. Something like "damn they're working you real hard. no problem, I like a motivated girl ;)"
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
yea I think part of it is that shes legit busy, and part of it is that youre not a priority. The fact that you're out of town for 3 weeks, also played a role. You have 2 options.. you can just say "sure" and hit her up in Feb..or, you can go high risk and go sexual and see if that motivates her.
35 Posts (+2), 150 Cmts (+63)
Okay so here is the update. I hit her up yesterday, about 2 months after we last talked. Kinda stuck in this back and forth here where she wants me to come to her part of town
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35 Posts (+2), 150 Cmts (+63)
Here is the update from today as well. We aren’t far from each other, 8 minute car ride maybe.
*Edit, did a bit more digging today:
Me: Honestly just curious, is there a specific reason? If you’re a little nervous or something I’d understand
Her: Honestly, I have a lot on my plate at work right now—March and April are our busiest months, and it’s just not realistic for me to do the travel time to another part of the city. I’d have to rearrange my dog’s walk schedule, and that would impact my work. I can’t justify that for a first date.
But I really just don’t have time for this at all, so it was nice chatting!
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