Hey guys, Had a solid convo with this girl — good energy, long replies, seemed into meeting up. But now she’s insisting I come to her city (about 40 mins away). I teased her a bit about needing a visa to visit mine, but she doubled down with “So doesn’t Amsterdam 😉” and hasn’t softened since. I’m not opposed to going there eventually, but I want to make sure I’m only investing in women who show some flexibility and effort early on. Feels like if I cave now, I’m chasing. What’s the best way to reframe this and get her to agree to drinks in my city without killing the vibe or looking rigid?
Advice
12 Comments
12 Cmts
1y ago

393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
yea man go with that.
7 Posts (+0), 21 Cmts (+0)
This chick...
Just let it go?
1
7 Posts (+0), 21 Cmts (+0)
UPDATE:
I actually decided to do a video call with her to check our vibe. In the beginning it was going quite well. However she did not seem that responsive to my flirting (maybe shyness which I understand) but to my surprise she was being difficult about going to visit my city. She wants to come this saturday afternoon, but only because she is also going there to meet friends. In short, the doesn't want to come to my city (45 min public transport) solely for our date. Quite a turnoff. Also, she says she can't confirm until thursday or friday because she might need to study for her job interview.
All in all, she seems quite rigid with an "I am the price" kinda vibe. Even 50 minutes videocall was not enough for her to become flexible. So now I'm going to sent her this:
Hey (name), I enjoyed our call yesterday. It was cool getting to know you better. I’m down to meet, but tbh I’m not into maybe plans or daytime dates. Evenings work best for me, more relaxed and more fun. If you’re genuinely down to come to (my city), let’s lock it in. If not, all good, then we can skip it for now and maybe revisit later if the vibe’s still there.
Either she shows effort or she's out.
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
i mean shes being genuine it seems like the logistics are just tough. how far apart do you guys live?