“Let’s keep the first date casual and stick to drinks. There will be plenty of room for fancy dinner dates in the future :)” “That sounds amazing but for our first date I have a different plan” then offer to cook at my place and share wine on my balcony “Let’s keep the first date casual and stick to drinks. Food can make me sleepy”
+2
21 Comments
21 Cmts
3y ago *
536 Posts (+164), 850 Cmts (+529)
44 Posts (+21), 550 Cmts (+363)
I'll have to respectfully disagree with you there. Every guy is rushing to "beat the oncoming competition" and I think that's the wrong frame. Indifference is a magic ingredient, at the right times and places. Let her wonder why it's taking a reasonable amount of time (not too much obviously) for you to reply. My view is do NOT put her in the frame of "she's the prize and I gotta rush to take her off the market". No no no. You are equals in this game.
0 Posts (+0), 259 Cmts (+153)
Not coming from that frame at all. Simply saying faster response times are going to be than slow response times- doesn't mean rushing the interaction. Taking a week for example to soft close a girl isn't going to set you apart because you seem more "indifferent"- she's probably just going to have had a smooth flowing interaction with another guy and who's got her off the app in a day or two.
44 Posts (+21), 550 Cmts (+363)
That has not been my experience at all, UNLESS you meet up immediately after a flowing exchange that happens in a short time span.
Taking a week to soft close is usually better, a couple messages here and there, sometimes quick responses, sometimes waiting a day or two - that's the right balance IMO. She'll assume you've got other stuff going on and probably dating other women so basically no, you couldn't have offered to meet up immediately anyway. That's a dhv and shows patience restraint and yet persistence too. Agree to disagree I Guess.