Back story: I never use OLD. I’m pretty attractive in person, so usually just roll with nightgame which gets me plenty of results. First time on tinder, matched this girl, she’s 18 I’m 20. Moved the convo to text. I generally have a no nonsense approach, so I try to get straight to the point and ask her out. She gives some resistance and a “maybe”. Since this conversation, she has actually messaged me to reignite the conversation, but I don’t know where to lead it - do I just persist and ask her out again, or try to talk to her more and THEN ask her out AGAIN....
+1
19 Comments
19 Cmts
3y ago *
89 Posts (+9), 191 Cmts (+51)
No worries bro, I’d say:
“Tsk tsk text me anyway if plans change. Otherwise we can always plan for another time”
Shows you are patient, take things lightly, have things going on, but also aren’t gonna chase & wait around forever :)
0 Posts (+0), 259 Cmts (+153)
I think if he's gonna stop trying after this, it's better to just not respond. Creates a validation vacuum and makes her more likely to reengage you. If he sends that text, he loses the chance to strip a bit of validation and make her reengage in future. Also shows he's too available and eager to meet.
1 Post (+1), 13 Cmts (+6)
Yeah there’s defo truth to what you’re saying.
I just don’t think she was interested enough to reengage though. She’s thrown an objection, I’ve given a pragmatic response along the lines of “we can work around it”.
One could argue that ghosting her would perhaps come across as being dissuaded/disheartened or butthurt by the objection though, essentially I’ve just acknowledged it and given a neutral response. A positive response, I.e. chasing further for another date, would give her too much power. A negative response, I.e. getting upset, would display weakness on my part. My neutral response displays indifference. What do you think?
I’ve gone and responded with a slight variation of Samay R’s message. Since the situation wasn’t optimal, I think it was a damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
I’m not going to be text buddies with her, and if she does come back with a date, odds are by then I’ll have met someone else anyway so she’ll get binned.