I was studying at the library and matched with this girl pretty late at night. Here’s a quick walkthrough of the interaction: Screenshot 1) Its about 11pm and the girl just got back from a sorority event date that did not go well. I’m thinking she’s probably dtf. Screenshot 2) She jumps on the wine soft close, and says shes feeling spontaneous and has her own room. Although I have not sexualized the interaction, I think it is pretty well understood that if we meet up we would have sex. Screenshot 3) Shit test 1: Why didn’t they invite you – I flip it on her by saying I had to study and already mentioned that before Shit test 2: Fake number – I just assumed she will text me. I replied “Silly” and within 5 seconds she hits me up Screenshot 4) Just a bit of banter as we move to text. Shit test 3: interesting (Spelled like a retard) – I think she’s just trying to tease me or whatever, but I flip it as if she is impatient to meet up Screenshot 5) So she asks for confirmation, which I say “Yes of course” but also give her an easy way out by saying “Unless is past your bed time.” I like to do this because it prevents her from saying no to me but rather to the situation, and can lead to just rescheduling it. She seems down so I say “That is the best type” Now, I did not have wine at my place, so I send her a voice note saying that I could bring some beer instead. I also take this opportunity so she can hear my voice and convey I am a normal dude. She doesn’t reply, which I take as if she is having second thoughts or is asleep. Screenshot 6) I tease her for falling asleep and she replies “I promise” which tells me she might still be down to meet. But then she doesn’t reply (probably fell asleep again). I send her the last text to show I have boundaries and that I don’t want to waste my time. I think this interaction was great except for one thing: I DID NOT SEXUALIZE THE CONVERSATION It’s tinder so I’ve always implied that if you meet up with a match is to have sex, not to “split a bottle of wine,” so I’ve never felt the real need to do so. However, I feel that making her horny and sexualizing the conversation would ease the meet-up specially for these situations where I met at like 11pm and I am trying to meet up the same night. Leaving it at “sharing a wine bottle” fucked me up because it makes the interaction rely on the fact that I have to bring wine. I am not sure tho at what point in the conversation and how I should have made it sexual. What do you guys think?

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avilench . Avatar

393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)

It’s not so much as a lack of sexual investment. But the whole thing “happening too fast” for her. She just randomly pops on tinder and a few minutes later she has a guy coming to her place. It just got real too fast. Slowing it down a bit and BUILDING INVESTMENT is key to avoiding this

Another big thing is you should have invited her to her place. She prob lives in a sorority house where she’d get judged for having a guy over, especially since she skipped some event. That was likely a big deal breaker. Always invite the chick to your place. Party won’t make a difference

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Max Fox Avatar

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That party thing was real? I assumed it was cover for not having his own room

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avilench . Avatar

393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)

OP, is this true?

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