Hey Alex, you mentioned in your video “how self improvement can ruin your life (5 traps to avoid)” that the deep inner work is important so that your house of cards is built on a stable foundation. You mentioned self esteem, getting over past traumas, etc. What are some practical practices and exercises I can start doing right now to implement these things in order to make sure I build my self-esteem, get over past traumas and built my foundation on a stable level?
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10 Comments
10 Cmts
2y ago
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17 Posts (+3), 22 Cmts (+1)
11 Posts (+5), 62 Cmts (+18)
What are "all these self improvement" habits. You don't need to spend hours every day meditating, writing gratitude lists every morning, taking cold showers, reading self-help books, download these weird apps or whatever the the hell these new-age hippie blogs have been suggesting you do.
You're overcomplicating "self improvement" with all these extraneous steps. You really don't need to do that much. You already exercise and eat well. Now you just need to find a healthy social life, and you're all set.
You don't need to learn anything. You need to UNLEARN things.
You need to UNLEARN whatever beliefs your trauma or bad past experiences have created.
You need to UNLEARN whatever arbitrary nonsense these self-help bloggers have been saying you need to do to feel whole.
You need to UNLEARN this belief that you need to do all this extra shit to be loved and have value.
I agree with finding quality friends over quantity.
You mentioned trauma. Do you have a therapist, or are you able to find one?
On the hobbies and interests: Are you doing them because you really enjoy them? Or just as a way to impress women (I think that's a really weak mindset imo)?
Do you have social events nearby? Meetup, Eventbrite, Fetflife munches, etc. Go to a few every week.
17 Posts (+3), 22 Cmts (+1)
I’ve been to two therapists in the past already and they helped me out. I’m done with therapy so tell me other ways in order to heal myself or whatever you want to call it.
The hobbies are for myself, not to impress women, don’t worry I’m not stupid like most people.
I was part of a fraternity, had the time of my life but resigned like 7 months ago due to school work being too much of a load. During these 7 months after I resigned, I was in that shitty friend circle recently which I just got out of because those guys are unmotivated and trash. Now I have to go out and create a new dope social circle.
I live in Brampton, Toronto, Canada. Meetup is pretty garbage in my area. Eventbrite might work I guess, I have all these apps. Idk what fetlife munches is...
Also let me give you some context of what type of guy I am: I love partying. By partying I specifically really enjoy house parties but don’t have that access anymore because I resigned from the frat. So how do I meet people and get invited to house parties every week? Also if these apps you’re mentioning don’t work in my area, how do I find out about events and meet people? And again, I’m going to specifically ask: how do I get a lot of people to invite me to house parties? I don’t have my own place yet because I’m still in school and I’m finishing that up right now.
Also, another thing dude you’re not specific. You say stuff like unlearn this and unlearn that but you’re not being practical... why don’t you tell me what a daily routine of self-improvement looks like for you? And that includes all the things like hobbies, social life, all the things you mentioned. I don’t want to live a “normal life” like people call it. I want an extraordinary life; crazy parties, crazy social circles, crazy lifestyle and I’m willing to work for it. So if you have knowledge on this, I’m hoping you’d be more than glad to share it.
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
Well, there’s multiple directions to go in. Meditation is always good. Reading self development books and autobiographies of successful people. Getting coaching from whatever field you’re trying to excel in. And of course therapy if you get a really good therapy. I personally did hypnotherapy and it was very helpful.
11 Posts (+5), 62 Cmts (+18)
Having a "daily self improvement routine" is vague.
When people find something they really want to do with their life, they say they're doing that particular thing. Not that they're on a self-improvement journey. Like if someone wants to play the guitar, they'll say "I'm playing the guitar because I love it" - not "I'm doing this as a self-improvement routine".
It's the same thing with people who say "I want to be an entrepreneur". And you can immediately tell that the person doesn't have a specific sense of direction on what they want to do. Because if they did, they'd say they're pursuing a certain industry or job. They wouldn't just say "I'm gonna be an entreprenuer".
If you're asking about me personally. I do things for my health (i.e. diet, exercise). I do things because I enjoy them (hobbies, time with family/friends, travelling). But I don't do these things just because it's some structured routine I'm supposed to do.
You have to find what it is your passionate about. It just seems like you're trying to check all these self-improvement boxes just because you're supposed to.
And if your goal here is just to get laid a lot. You don't need to do any of this self-improvement nonsense. Just go out and talk to lots of women. (Or if you prefer dating apps, put time/money into having professional quality pictures)