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About 2-3 days later I message them with "If you're too nervous I'd understand" or "Thinking very hard I see", and they reply with "?" or "What do you mean?" or "Huh?" or "Thinking about what?".

Some screenshots would be helpful here, I think. It's hard to advise what you should be doing in response to this, without being able to evaluate whether the way you tend to close even makes any sense.

EDIT: To clarify what I am getting at: If you are for example trying to close on a low point and/or without any sort of investment, the solution to your problem won't be found in what to text after the girl randomly developes Amnesia