Comments by Mark Thomas
Joined 2y ago0 Posts (+0), 6 Cmts (+4)
it looks like she's very interested in meeting up and getting to know you so just set up the date via Hinge, and when you guys are together, plan the 2nd date and get her number. I'm sure she's probably not giving it bc of safety reasons/or people being weird after they start texting.
0 Posts (+0), 6 Cmts (+4)
For retention, how long do you wait before re-engaging? Taking too long may make girls feel like you wanted a ONS. Personally, I reach out 2-3 days after with a form of callback referencing the night. Also Alex's "Last night was fire emoji line" the day after works well and gets the convo going to then set up the next date.... All the beauty validation should be given during or post sex and increasing over time with the more investment you get from her. Investment meaning what she does for you, or giving a genuine compliment, something no one's really said about her that you noticed
To not attempting future plans if the current plans fall thru - that's correct. You can possibly get it back over time with what I advised prior by not responding, but who knows how long that'll take, so no point in getting so fixated on her. In the dating game, we'll take a lot of L's, and the best way to move forward is to learn from that and use those lessons to get a new girl & keep her as well.
You can still try to confirm the next date, and her response will tell you what you need to know. Like her saying maybe or postponing/rescheduling with no specific date should be the end of it. All the wishy washy shit would be just her stringing you along
You can start the convo with gym talk, then ask if you're still good for whatever day
0 Posts (+0), 6 Cmts (+4)
You're texting's decent except the parts where you do give her a lot of validation - like you already felt you were doing - without trying to move things forward to the next date
Like "I'm gonna watch and think dirty thoughts as you do them," and "even texting you turns me" are examples of poor texts. The 1st lets her know that you're okay with just seeing her in the gym and her being eye candy for you (even after hooking up) when you could be fucking instead and the 2nd is super low value, also indirectly stating that "I can tease him and make him horny without actually fucking." Granted, I'm sure texting girls gets us all turned on, but that's something that doesn't need to be said explicitly said. The vibe of the convo depicts that, especially while sexting
When you say these things, instead of her chasing you, you're doing the chasing instead, which gives her even more confidence. So ultimately, her fucking you and having you chase her afterwards is giving her the confidence to know that you'll always be there and willing to fuck anytime, ironically making her less eager to want to actually fuck.
You seem to have a good grasp on soft closing, but the texting/flirting before getting to that point may need some work bc maintaining frame after fucking is just as important. I'm sure Alex has a ton of videos going over this
To improve your texting, always try to move things forward. When she says:
"Thank uu, i had fun w u," you can say "Me too, we can have some more fun some time this week"............. (FUCK the gym talk, you wanna see that body again right?!)
"I have no one to stare at the gym," you can say "come stare at me tonight in my place instead" or something of the sort
"Ugh you turn me on so much" you can take this multiple diff ways. Can say something "oh yeah, what turned you on most last time" OR "I can tell by the way you were riding me" etc <-- something referencing when you guys fucked, and the convo will have a more sexual tone
"U did the other night," you can say "we might have to do a repeat of that night [insert devil/smirk emoji here]
BUT now since you think she's most likely seeing another guy/exploring other options, you probably wanna fall back. Stop listening to her and meeting her at the gym when she wants, when you guys have no date plans after or in the near future. Just don't respond. If she follows up saying anything other than she misses seeing you or insinuating future plans, don't respond. Your goal here is to make her try to regain the frame and make her chase you again, to get that date. Anything else is attention seeking which is bad for you. If she truly likes you, she'll go this route or if she falls back completely, you'll have your answer, and it'll be time to move on
If she's saying you're hot though, I'm sure other girls think the same so I would say now's the time to approach more and add to your rotation too
Let us know how that date goes with her if it does happen
0 Posts (+0), 6 Cmts (+4)
Mark, to be frank, after reading the first 4 lines, if her behavior changed so drastically from before and after the hook up, my initial guess would be that she was super attracted to you physically at first, but you didn't live up to the hype in the bedroom. After sex, a girl's interest should have increased, or at the very minimum, stay at the same level from before. On top of that, she may also have started talking to someone else now within that 2 week time frame.
So what I'd ask is 1. can you elaborate more on the date? What did you guys talk about? Any sexual talk? Good or bad moments? Since you mentioned she was awkward/nervous.
and 2. in your honest opinion, how do you think the hook up session went? What happened leading up to it and during? Did she orgasm etc. Please be as detailed as possible
Also, post screenshots of your conversation with her before and after you guys hooked up. May give a little more insight
0 Posts (+0), 6 Cmts (+4)
Bob, it seems like you've already identified the issue in your first sentence, leaving the ball in the girl's court, so the correct alternative would be to be to lead the conversation to date #2 and so on by being more direct, smooth, and calibrated. Please take "let me know" or anything of the sort out of your vocabulary. Even though you've met em once and had a great time, girls are forgetful or are actually busy so time gets away from them. They also don't want to be the ones leading all the meetups regardless of how much they like you. Yeah, there's some that do, but they're in the minority so you have to take initiative.
With girl #1 when she mentioned "maybe Sunday," you did well not jumping on that and pulled back letting her know you rather a more certain day. After her response, a simple reply like "what evenings work best for you this week?" would keep the convo going and provide you with more details to set better logistics for the date.... "Let me knows" sets your own self up to double text which is def not ideal. Maybe a simple "how are you/how you been" or a more personal question can reengage her
With girl #2, I personally hit a girl up 2-3 days after we hung out and try to set up plans. The more times I see a chick in a short time period the higher the retention, which makes the next date that much easier to set up and solidifies her in your rotation. This girl responds a bit more flirty and casual with the immunity line so you could be smooth here and reply something like "that's good but i don't think your immunity will save you from me ;)." No need to overdo it with a voice note basically ending the convo after one text. A decent double text could go like "how's the the girl with the best immune system doing"
With girl #3, everything was good until again you said "It was cool together... send me days when you plan to be in city and we will meet again." Instead of saying this, ask her when is she gonna be back, which can give you better details for arranging something. She hit you up a day after meeting, so she obviously interested (and a girl in the minority I mentioned earlier that lead) so use that as an opportunity to get the 2nd date. Your job is to just keep the convo going till you get logistics for that next date. Seems like she doesn't live in your city so idk if you can reengage
Girl #4, She mentioned she didn't know her schedule and you told her to let you know her schedule which tbh is probably why you got left on read. This one may be dead. A better response would have been, "when do you think you'd know" or go more in depth asking her if she works, is in school etc.
Girl #5. Almost an identical scenario to Girl #1, ask for a more certain day
Seems like you get a lot of good leads so it's all about keeping the convo until you get your desired outcome which is logistics

0 Posts (+0), 6 Cmts (+4)
way too eager man. no point in making a post if you're gonna reply to the chick before actually getting advice. looks like a lost cause...
you focused way too much on the number rather than seeing her high investment and interest for what it is. if she ignored your number request twice, but continued the convo, you have to read the room at that point and continue the convo towards the meet up. Then you ended the good banter to solely focus on the number was the kill shot
She was giving you her availability, so a couple more messages could've landed you the date