Basically Ive been going out with a girl for 3 weeks now and we have had sex a few times and we are really liking each other. The problem is that I possibly might have ruined things because she had tell me she cut off guys from her life that could possibly be interested in her and today I told her after she was telling me about a male friend that tried things with her recently and that she stopped talking to that I didnt want her to have any male friends (in terms of guys she DM's or keeps a lot of contact) because I said I dont believe their intentions and that guys and girls can be friends. I told her she would have to make a decision if she wanted to be with me she should drop them and she told me after a small drama that she would. When I was hearing her tell me about the male friend story I got kind of distant and cold because thats a hard topic for me since my ex cheated on me with a male friend and I told this girl that. In addition to this she wants to follow a military career which will start in a few months so I know she would be in contact with a lot of guys which is something i really dont know if i could handle. Do you guys have any advice for me, was it to early to bring this boundary? Because she is being distant. i would love to know your opinion on the above questions
Posts by Ray Silva
Joined 3y agoSort By
how to answer: why do you want to talk on whatsapp?
I have this problem where I can't retain a girl. 90% of them I get just the first date and never see them again. I thought it had to do with where I met them (mainly Tinder), so I manned up and In this year I've been focusing more on meeting girls in real life (I've approached like 10, got like 8 instagrams and got 3 dates probably one more to come), but the problem maintains. For example the situation with the girl I had recently: Im Portuguese, and I was at the beach alone and a group of spanish girls came nearby, (they are here studying for a few months) and basically I went there made a few jokes and got the instagram of one of them, we spoke for a week and I got a date with her yesterday. I picked her up with my car in her university residence, We went out for a drink and it was great she was showing signs of high attraction and I kissed her. After a while she kissed me, we went back to my car and we started making out, I could tell she was super horny and so I asked if she could bring people to the residence, she said no, and then after a while of making out I tolded her "lets go to the back of the car" but she said she wasn't going to do anything. I tried like once more but that was it and I brought her home. I texted her a few hours after with a joke we had on our date and she didn't respond. Im 21 and she is 18 for reference. What mistake you think I made? At least I got to practice my spanish lol.. This type of situation has happened with dozens of girls in my life. In fact, I keep a list of the girls I had dates or situations with and they all ended in a similar way and its around 40 girls. I've been actively in the dating scene for like 1y and a half. Im 179cm (5'10 / 5'11) , I work as software engineer from home, but I don't make enough money to move out of my parents house anytime soon which makes me have to go through these types of situations with girls in the car. Maybe Im not escalating correctly in the car, what is the best way? Should I aim to get dates without having sex? How would you approach dates if you were me? I saw a video of Alex saying you should always try to have sex first date. However I don't know if this applies if you don't own your own apartment (like me), and for what Alex says, I can tell this is a situation of point of no return. I also understand that this is a first world problem but I'm getting kind of tired of having so MANY temporary girls in my life and would like to keep one and get to know her for once. Maybe unrealistic in current society. Thank you very much for the patience.
I approached this girl at like a bar a few weeks ago and weve been texting, went on a date last friday that Lasted 4hrs and we kissed at the end. With girls I care about I find it more difficult to try sex, because im afraid that it would not lead to relationship. Never had relationship and I think with this girl it would be cool. We have been texting since the date. I saw her 2 days ago at a room in university, she said hi from the distance and I went to her after finishing some work and we talked a bit and she seemed interested. However she takes a lot of time to respond (maybe we only exchange a text a day), but rn i need help with a text: I said that even though she distracted me from my work I liked seeing her and would like to see her again And she responded saying: how did i distract u i didnt even do anything, and yes we can go out again How would you respond? And should I try having sex this date? I only can have car sex btw because i live with parents
Hey, just got off a date with a girl that I thought was going to be chill, like just walking near the river and get to know each other, but mid date she said she wasnt looking for anything serious so I just thought to my self she wasnt very wife material so I asked her if she wanted to come to my car because it was cold and we would go somewhere. She choose a parking lot nearby that had no one there. I only kissed her at that moment, and I tried to make sex happen so that I wouldnt go to point of no return. She was tripping if people would see her, but there was no one there. I kept trying to convince (because I could tell she was horny by the way we were kissing) , and then I just pulled my dick out and she sucked a bit and then I told her to take off her pants so thst I could fuck her she said no, then I tried the same to lick her pussy she said no. I tried convicing a bit more and then she just said she wasnt feeling comfortable and I said its ok, I wont try no more, and I took her home. Tips on how to handle these type of situations? Happened 3 times in a short span. Maybe I should get a place of my own lol.. Also, should I even text her anything?
tinder conversation: me: hi potential lover her: hi potential daddy me: my kind of girl. how is your day going? me after a few days (reengage): is it going that well? her: actually it could be going better, sorry i dont go here very often im on insta more often, and i have a lot of exams rn, how is your day going? me: poor thing, good, just finished a workout looking nice and fit for our date :) , i dont come here very often aswell tell me your insta her: dont say poor thing if you say poor thing ill hit you her: right i worked out a lot today too her: * gives insta * me : you can hit me but then ill have to punish you her: youll punish me? ill fight you if you really punish me me: im ready for your fight tell me when you are ready for mine her: what punish were you talking about then? me : i preffer to show it than talk it her : hm right, lets talk on insta converstion on insta * me : hey agressor her : hey daddy me : i want to give you reasons to call me daddy one of these days her : how are you going to do that? me: i preffer to show it irl, but lets just say it involves a belt her: what would you do to me with the belt may i know? how would you sexualize here? is it even worth it ?
we were talking about a bathing suit * her: it stopped fitting on my boobs me: damn you'll have to show me how you're handling that problem one of these days her: easy, I either dont wear one or I buy a new one me: I like your first solution. how is your day going? her: a lot of study and u? me: good, just finished a workout looking nice and fit for our date;) (awesome line from alex) her: workout of what me: back and shoulders , do you train? her: yes, legs, glutes and arms, and sometimes cardio me: I can tell you're also getting fit for me (kinda fucked up here) her: actually for me ahah what would u answer now, i feel like im pushing too much for the date without her saying anything about it. this was a match from today and she answers really fast
Me: "hey potential lover" Her: "careful I bite" Me: "thats a bonus for me" Her:"really? What do you like the most?" Me:"girls with an adventurous side and nice tits tbh. So far you seem like you would fit. Hbu?" Her:"ahahaha i can tell you are shy .." Me:"yes i know pretty girls intimidate me you will have to hold my hand on our date" Her:"I hope you dont have a heart attack from the nerves I would rather not do it" Me: "your hand would calm me down, how is your year going so far?" Her:"it depends, my hand can give excitement aswell. Not so good, I have a lot of exams" Me" we should see if thats true one of these days" Her: "i dont know, do you deserve it?" What would you answer now, also rate my game please
hey, when I go out with a girl I meet on tinder I know the chance of me having sex with her on the first date is extremely high because I have a good in-person game and I know how to escalate and stuff, but the chance of me getting a second date (to have sex with her again) is less than 0%. I installed tinder 2 weeks ago and have 34 matches, and out of those 34 matches got 2 dates that both ended up in sex. -The first girl we had car sex day 21 december, I texted the following morning saying I liked our night and I wanted round 2 and she was on board and even suggested I spent one night at her place but eventually she flaked on me. I wished her new years yesterday and she said she was feeling guilty she flaked on me and that it wasn't anything about me, and I played it off saying I wasn't affected by it and I knew it was a casual thing so it was chill and the conversation ended there. I feel like she found someone better. -The second girl we had sex on new years, she texted me the following morning saying "good morning" and I answered back saying "good morning i liked our night" and she was doubting a bit I liked it I dont know why, and i said i was interested in round 2 and she was like "ahaha are you interested in a second time?" and i said "are you not?" and she ghosted. I feel like they just want the validation of knowing I would come back for more but then they don't actually do it. I've always been a bit insecure about my looks so I thought if it had anything to do with that but logically would they have sex with me if they didn't find me attractive? doesn't make much sense. I've also thought about that maybe I'm bad at sex. Tbh I've never had a girlfriend and so I never had too much practice. I feel like I'm improving but I dont have many chances to do so because it always has to be with a new girl. this is big problem because it didn't happen only with these 2 girls. like 5 more it has happened any one has any tip on how to change the situation?
hey I had first date, which went well we had car sex. after the date i kept it simple like Alex recomends and said the following morning " I enjoyed our date". she said the same and then i said i wanted round 2 and she said she was on the same page and that she was going to have a night where here house was free next week and i said cool, which night? and she said she didnt know yet and she would let me know. i said "sure". conversation ended. Could I have done anything better?
