Male friends advice fwb/gf
Basically Ive been going out with a girl for 3 weeks now and we have had sex a few times and we are really liking each other. The problem is that I possibly might have ruined things because she had tell me she cut off guys from her life that could possibly be interested in her and today I told her after she was telling me about a male friend that tried things with her recently and that she stopped talking to that I didnt want her to have any male friends (in terms of guys she DM's or keeps a lot of contact) because I said I dont believe their intentions and that guys and girls can be friends. I told her she would have to make a decision if she wanted to be with me she should drop them and she told me after a small drama that she would. When I was hearing her tell me about the male friend story I got kind of distant and cold because thats a hard topic for me since my ex cheated on me with a male friend and I told this girl that.
In addition to this she wants to follow a military career which will start in a few months so I know she would be in contact with a lot of guys which is something i really dont know if i could handle.
Do you guys have any advice for me, was it to early to bring this boundary?
Because she is being distant. i would love to know your opinion on the above questions
2 Posts (+1), 7 Cmts (+2)
3 weeks is not a lotta time she's isn't your gf so I would have called her out hey i don't really like when you talk about your friends while we together doesn't make me feel good if still continues i would go stronger if she crosses again she out.
Yea totally agree with you thats why it ended. What I will try doing with the next girl I plan on taking serious is in the stage where I am not her boyfriend I am going to be laid back and try to be non chalant when she talks about other guy friends and stuff like that but once she wants us to get in a relationship I will tell her that I can't get in a relationship with a girl that has guy friends. Sure, she can interact with guys in the day to day life which is something inevitable but the thought of my girlfriend having guy friends just makes me feel weird.
301 Posts (+29), 265 Cmts (+27)
Correct. If she can’t police her own shit then next her. It’s always best to come from the lover angle to get to know as much of the “REAL” her as possible. They gatekeep sex, we gatekeep relationships. You’ll notice that you’ll start getting more relationship requests when you feed her scraps (just have fun & don’t chase the relationship)
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393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
It's never early to bring up a boundary. It's a legitimate concern to have. I typically don't let natty hang with her male friends (unless it's public) either. If she says she can't cut them off, it's your choice whether you want to continue it. Just make sure there's a lot of communication first
Hm.. imagine if you tried bringing up such a boundary in the first date, wouldnt it scare the girl a bit? I feel like investment has to be built, sort of how you described in your video of how you get girls to have a one way open relationship with you.
Also, just out of curiosity, doesn't it botter you her having male friends?
But I would love if you made a video explaining how to manage boundaries and how to act when girls "test you" by talking about male friends, ex partners, guys that tried hitting on her..
52 Posts (+30), 190 Cmts (+99)
Not looking good bro. You can’t force a girl to be yours and this proves it. Now these sacrifices will be met with more obstacles to find freedom and you’ll soon be the controlling partner.
I never had to tell girl to cut anyone off, they reminded me themselves theyve been cutting people off for me and still honestly didn’t care who they ever texted if she was sleeping me with me every night it doesn’t matter.
Time to restart the roster
12 Posts (+6), 24 Cmts (+3)
Yup. I didn't go to this forum for a few weeks, but it was not looking good for sure.
She ended things with me a week after that (I had went on a solo trip that lasted a week when I wrote this).
It really is time to restart the roster.
I am confident im approaching beautiful girls and I have my life pretty much in order for my age and by my experiences I can say confidently I am good with women, however I am really not good at managing this in relationships. It really is what I need to focus the most and learn. I think taking a more laid back chill approach to things like you describe you do would work the best.