I recently got back to dating using online apps. My dates go well (laughter, good conversation) but i'm not getting a second date.
In my twenties, I used to meet women through daytime dating. I would approach with a direct opener and talk for around 10 minutes and schedule a date for the next 1-3 days. I didn't do any gamey attraction stuff on the dates- just talked about hobbies / passions. I went on maybe 15-20 dates with nice looking women, and virtually every one ended at least with a make out.
Now that I'm in my mid thirties and meeting people from dating apps, I'm noticing that the tension is missing on the dates. I'm having the same type of good conversations with my dates (maybe even better), with laugher and sharing of interests. The women seem receptive and playful throughout the date (which lasts around 1.30 hours), but they don’t want a second date.
The main difference I think is in the frame from online dating vs direct approaches. With direct approaches you automatically establish a dominant/confident frame with your approach. I wonder if I need to do something more ballsy/cocky on my dates to establish that frame. Any feedback is appreciated.
To add context- I think I’m relatively nice looking for my target demo, and my profile images reflect well what I look like in real life.
+1
11 Comments
11 Cmts
2y ago