Yeah man, definitely a lot of room for improvement. However, you completely lost her when you said you don't have a job. To a chick who works in FINANCE, that's one of the worst things you could say. If she had been an artist or something like that, it might have been a less of a big deal. Nevertheless, I recommend you never tell a girl that again. You can just say you have your own business and keep it vague. That's what I used to do when I didn't have a job. Funny story, one of my girl friends after dating me for a year joked with me one night saying "Wow, how did you trick me into thinking that you have a job?"

That was by far the biggest thing. Other small things just include being too all over the place and not creating any DHVs or tension. Take a look at some of my LRs and see if you can feel a difference in the vibe

"Not working at the moment" is a huge turnoff and "deciding what I'm going to do next" makes you seem like you don't have your shit together. I don't blame her for not responding

Man this is DLV after DLV. A shame because this girl seem(ed) pretty interested.

You admit to being fairly drunk when you met. Give her the prize frame with "I'll let you be the judge of that". Tell her you're unemployed and not sure what you're doing next. These are all demonstrations of low value man.