I need an autopsy for this interaction
I've had about 65 matches and 1 date in the span of a month (albeit with Tinder Platinum, Hinge Premium and thousands of swipes). The feedback and guidance from PWF has been immensely helpful in lieu of my poor social skills. However, I sense that my desperation and inexperience with non-platonic conversation is easily detected by girls that might be into me, even if I try to hide it.
This interaction in particular, I feel like I could have done more to save it. I asked another group of people if the last message I sent was weird or not and I got mixed reactions. I went with my gut and I sent it anyways. The reason I sent that message was because:
- it was on a high point (she's beginning to invest by asking buying questions), and I wanted to pull back
- we had been talking for about 3-4 days and very infrequently
- up to that point, the conversation was too platonic and I wanted to change that, hence the "romantic date" statement
- I was getting nervous that if I didn't make some kind of move, she would move on to the next person.
I know believe that I shot myself in the foot. Here are my messages:
And this gives you a snapshot into all of my matches and conversations in general. They usually go something like this.
Now I would do more flirting and sexualizing, but the few times I have it didn't go well for me. Specifically, a match unmatched me yesterday after I said "you're just my type/can I be honest". So I try to just go the conversation route, but there's no tension involved.
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9 Posts (+5), 212 Cmts (+56)
The last message wasn't necessarily weird but def was uncalibrated... When texting you want to mirror the energy of the girl you're talking to. If you go too low energy, most of the time you become boring to the other person... And if you go too high energy, you'll seem too aggressive or exentric.
That's what happened in this case, your message wasn't weird but too aggressive. It felt more like you rejected the girl than teased her (which I'm guessing is what you wanted to do initially).
Instead you could've said this:
You:"Awesome! How tall are you?"
Her:"1mX"
You:"Oh cool, I could definitely smuggle you in my suitcase next time I'm going"
Or if she's too tall : "So, I know you want to visit Japan but I don't think you'd fit in my luggage"
And from there you can start teasing each other and increasing the sexual tension
Is there even a way to salvage the interaction?
9 Posts (+5), 212 Cmts (+56)
She might answer later, just give it a day or two. And if she doesn't, send her back the "how tall are you?" question and write back what I put in my comment above
0 Posts (+0), 1 Cmt (+0)
I love your honesty but it lacks initiative, all this would have been better in-person vs text.
She feels like you are "leading her on" as her pen pal, I would have initially put in a ton of inuendos from the very beginning, then gone for the close ASAP. Text is only to meet up in person/call.
My responses are as follows:
Have you ever considered doing furries?
Do you consider yourself Kawaii?
Amigurumi? Is that like a Nuru massage?
Yes! Japan is AMAZING I want to go back again this Fall. Idea! We should go together it'll be 2x the fun I know all the cool places
Hmm, lost in the sea of notifications I see
So, what's your schedule like? I have so many questions to ask you, too much over text.
P.S. You only like messages if you don't plan on replying to her; also, if you could add more snapshots it would help tremendously