How to Maximize Your Chance of Getting Laid on a Date
I wanted to cover this a bit since I know this is something a lot of guys get wrong. Here are my extensively tested advice to getting laid on dates:
1.Set the right vibe/frame - You want to show that you are a dominant sexual man from the start and create a fun and flirty vibe full of sexual tension. In cold approach (especially during the daytime), I do this implicitly. I almost never blatantly make very sexual remarks or try to touch her too much (basically you want to always avoid being the “creep” who has no understanding of social norms) Instead, I am more implicit and suggestive. I build sexual tension by holding very strong eye contact, having a solid body language, and strategically inserting small pauses at the right time. At the same time, I keep the vibe very fun and flirty, positioning myself as a lover and not a provider in her mind.
On tinder, you can be much more explicit and I do that sometimes. However, the majority of the time it is not necessary but, it is necessary to still show that you’re a confident dominant man, keep things fun and flirty and position yourself as a lover in her mind. Here’s an example of an LR where I was relatively implicit, while maintaining the right frame: https://www.playingfire.com/purto-rican-cute-nerd-tinder-lr/
- Screening - This very much bleeds into vibing. During a cold approach interaction, I am actually slightly screening from the start by being a confident dominant man who’s not ashamed of his sexuality or trying to hide his intentions (while still being very socially calibrated), I naturally screen out the majority of prude chicks. Then, just by being flirty, some more of the prude chicks will get screened out. And that is actually a very good thing. A high value guy knows that not every attractive girl will meet his criteria and will place his time above all else (while a confused PUA will try to go on a date with every girl thinking that it’s all about game). Furthermore, there will be an additional level of screening when I go to setup the date (more on this later)
On tinder, I used to screen very explicitly, by asking a girl “What are you looking for on here?” after getting investment from her.This is by no means a bad strategy and is how a lot of my earlier LRs went down. However, nowadays, I prefer to screen more implicitly throughout the whole interaction. Also, like with cold approach leads, there is an additional level of screening that takes place when I go to setup the date
- Setting up the date - This is a small, but extremely crucial step to get right. You want to avoid dates that have a lower probability of resulting in sex. This is things like: All forms of food dates, activity dates, group dates, and any date where the logistics aren’t optimal. Personally, I will only do 3 types of first dates: Straight to my place, bar walking distance to my place and coffee shop walking distance to my place. That’s it. I save the funky activity dates for after I banged the girl and she becomes my booty call
Irregardless of whether this was a cold approach lead or a tinder lead, the vast majority of time my first date proposal is inviting the girls straight over. Typically, I will say “To split a bottle of wine on my romantic patio” to take some of the pressure off. If you follow everything I’ve outlined so far, you will generally get 3 types of responses
a) Compliance - You’d be surprised at how many girls will agree to come straight over, if you created the right vibe from the start. Some might have a concern that needs to be addressed first (safety, no expectations, etc.) Then, if you properly address these concerns, they will agree. These will on average be the most DTF girls. So, if you’re trying to decide between several options and have a girl in this subcategory, go with her. Personally, about 50% of the girls that I meet with wind up coming straight over on the first date (including the ones I meet during cold approach).
b) Request to meet in public - These are the chicks who will want to meet in public first. I will then simply just propose a bar that is a short walk from my place. And, the majority of the time, they will thank me for understanding. That is because I was very congruent from the start and me inviting them straight over is something that a confident dominant sexual man would do. In their minds, I’m not a “nice guy" who is trying to "pull one over on them” and thus they are pleased that I am totally cool about meeting them at a bar first. These chicks are also typically dtf, but aren’t as “sold” yet. They want to be “seduced a bit” before going back to your place
c) Outrage - These are the girls who will get butthurt because you invited them straight over. Now, if you have followed my advice from the start, this should rarely happen. However, a few will occasionally slip through the cracks. Fortunately, by inviting them straight over, you’re screening out the girls who very likely would have been a waste of your time
Side note: I will almost never agree to do halfway dates. They are typically a giant waste of time. And, quite often by holding your frame, a large amount of girls who initially insisted on meeting halfway will agree to meeting at your place (A guy who doesn’t bend over backwards to please a girl is rare and a huge turn on). Here’s an example of a love report where this happened: https://www.playingfire.com/hot-blonde-russian-girl-bumble-lay-report/
- Preparing for the date - This is also very important and a lot of this should be common sense that is unfortunately sometimes ignored. First off, you want to clean your place. Seeing trash everywhere will turn off most chicks. You don’t have to go crazy, just tidy your place up a bit. Make your bed, clean your dishes, pickup your clothes from the floor, etc. Secondly, you want to clean yourself. Take a shower and put on deodorant before your date. Nothing turns a girl off like body odor, so don’t be that guy
Thirdly, have some chill music playing in the background. Believe it or not, this makes a difference. Some good background music has a strong subconscious effect and will reduce the awkwardness of meeting a stranger (if a chick is particularly shy or tense, I will actually ask her what her favorite type of music is and then put it on. This works really well and subconsciously creates instant comfort for her) Last but not least, have a variety of alcohol. Personally, I will have wine, vodka and tequila. No, I’m not trying to get the girl drunk but, I know that just by having a drink in her hand will help her subconsciously relax and take the social pressure off. Most girls wants to be able to say something like “Yeah, you know we had a few drinks and one thing lead to another” So, I try to give her that opportunity. Now, if you’re one of those people who doesn’t like to drink, you can just have a sip or 2 of whatever you poured yourself. She’s not going to be watching exactly how much you drink (If you are super anal about it, then you can take activated charcoal beforehand and this will soak up any alcohol that gets in your body)
Another thing, I personally like to do is have a few sex toys on my nightstand. Typically, I will put my hitachi magic wand ( A must buy) and a pair of handcuffs. I like to do this, because when the chick sees the toys, she will almost always get intrigued and the conversation will rapidly turn sexual. This may seem intimidating for some but I have been doing this 2 years now and never once had it backfire
- The date - I have a full section dedicated to this in my product (link in the bottom), covering everything from first impressions, to handling LMR, to maximizing your retentions after sex. But, let me give you the basics here. Whether you meet the girl at a bar or at your place, you want to maintain the vibe I talked about from the start. Give her a confident hug and keep things fun and flirty. And equally importantly, assume compliance. When meeting her inside my apartment, I always just assume that she’s coming with me. Then, I assume that she’s going to be comfortable going inside. Upon entering, I will offer her a drink and either lead her on my balcony or sit in the office chair in the living room (positioning her to sit next to me). For the first few minutes, I am always very laidback and give her a chance to get comfortable with the new surroundings. Once I sense that she is, then I smoothly start escalating. There is no exact sequence you need to follow, just be smooth and gradually escalate. Staring with something small, like a hand on the hip, then positioning your body close to her, then another hand on her hip, then moving close to her and whispering in her ear then brushing her hair past her ear, then getting even closer to her, then lightly kissing her neck, then making out, then squeezing her ass, then kissing down her neck... You get the picture. The key thing to keep in mind is that she is very likely at your place for a reason. It’s your game to lose, but as long as you make her feel comfortable, turn her on, and successfully overcome any possible concerns, then you will very likely smash.
There is also a bunch of other things you can do along the way, like the infamous massage routine that we talk about in the product. This is basically where you give her a massage in such a way that she gets extremely horny and wants to fuck. Hopefully, you guys find value in this guide and if you have any questions, let me know in the comments below :)
PS - If you guys think it will help, I can make a video on this topic as well
https://www.playingfire.com/buy-product/
Video version of this:
https://youtu.be/XBtiSyKunQk
Do you have a playlist you use when girls come over?
Video version of this is finally out:
https://youtu.be/XBtiSyKunQk
39 Posts (+8), 697 Cmts (+226)
Thanks brotha. How do you handle it when a chick draws a line in the sand with how far she is willing to go? For example, I met a girl the other night for a drink at a bar around the corner. Escalation, innuendo, we had a brief make out at the bar. Back to mine, some making out, and as I started to round third she stopped me. "All good" I said and we continued to make out, later chatted some more and she left. We had plans to hang out again and she texted later in the week that she wasn't interested because I was too pushy. I really don't want to be that guy, but I also shoot my shot on every date. Do you have tips for how to walk that line gracefully? Do you have a process for when a girl isn't going to fuck on the first date? Traps to avoid? Mistakes you've learned from? Thanks as always man, love sharing and learning here.
honestly one of the biggest things that ive learned is that when you bring a girl back and you get close to sex and sex doersnt happen the girl almost always thinks of a bs excuse not to hangout again, believe me, i wish this wasnt the case because persoanlly i dont mind going on 2-3 dates before sex but this is the reality but for me i will do anything i can to make sex happen on the first date (without doing anything illegal or not pressuring the girl)
39 Posts (+8), 697 Cmts (+226)
ah, thats actually refreshing to hear. Been under the impression that I had been making big technical mistakes in these cases. That does suck though, in a lot of cases I would like to see the chick again
0 Posts (+0), 1 Cmt (+0)
Please make a video on how to escalate things from opener to hookup with an Indian girl on Instagram.:)

13 Posts (+9), 79 Cmts (+26)
Good one with the sextoys, I've always been more discreet about them, but gonna try.
Other things I've been doing, it's awesome to have them find some music, just need to make sure to have autoplay after to not disturb later.
Interesting you said you have a hand on the hip in the beginning? I usually have that after kissing, I pretty much always start with legs and neck/hair.
394 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
Haha. Yeah, give the sex toys thing a shot. In terms of escalation, I was just giving an example. I don't have a set order, it's more of a general idea of moving along smoothly. Sometimes I'll do this first, sometimes I'll do that first.
13 Posts (+9), 79 Cmts (+26)
Ya makes sense, it just stood out to me as I couldn't see myself starting there when sitting next to each other, but definitely don't have a set order or checklist lol
Cool, will report back on how the butt plug and handcuffs combo works for topic finding purposes.