Got the "I'm not looking to meet anyone at the moment due to bad breakup" Objection. How to proceed?

12 Comments
12 Cmts
S

5 Posts (+12)

34 Cmts (+7)

S

5 Posts (+12), 34 Cmts (+7)

Long story short, talked to some girl at the bar, we exchanged numbers, and we been sporadically texting 2-3 weeks trying to setup a date, but failing due to busy schedules.

Last night, she texted me that she wants to meet me around midnight (booty call I assume) "Can't, I have other plans" I replied. (I really had plans)

So today, we continued texting, she agreed that we meet in the next few days. Then while we were scheduling she suddenly out of nowhere threw me a "Actually, I'm not looking to meet anyone at the moment" curveball. This was the convo:

Me: Let's meet in the next few days (voice memo)
Her: Yes, Let's do it!
Me: What's your schedule like?
Her: Actually I don't want to meet up really, have some things in my head, I don't want to meet anyone at the moment.

Whole thing spiraled out of control, and I couldn't get things back on track no matter what. Rest of convo is me trying to uncover what the real objection is and solve it. She was throwing me a bunch of fakes, one after another. After I thought I had it figured out I blew up the "....ending things here would be anticlimactic" nuke on an fake objection (it flopped ofc)

As a last ditch effort I threw the "I feel you actually had a bad breakup recently" cold read and she started opening up again, saying that it was that what was actually troubling her.

Is there a way to salvage this? How should I proceed?

Thanks.

2
avilench . Avatar

393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)

I would try something like "I'm confused. Where's this coming from?"

1
S

5 Posts (+12), 34 Cmts (+7)

Wish I knew this 30 texts before, think I blew it at this point...At least I know for next one, cheers

0
Max Fox Avatar

5 Posts (+2), 372 Cmts (+206)

@avilench . always brings the magic here...

(my thoughts:)
"I get it, you don't want anything serious until your head's straight again..."

"After a breakup you forget how fun it is to just hang out and vibe with no expectations"

"Worried that you'll just use me as a rebound guy? Don't be, I'm cool with whatever happens, long as we respect each other"

1
S

5 Posts (+12), 34 Cmts (+7)

Thanks. I like these and I could deff use them in future when similar issue arise. But I can't really see them apply to my current situation.

0
Max Fox Avatar

5 Posts (+2), 372 Cmts (+206)

What have I missed about your current situation, that makes them not apply? What else should we know about?

1
P

0 Posts (+0), 1 Cmt (+1)

Have similar issue, looking forward for advice

1
Y

3 Posts (+0), 10 Cmts (-1)

I'd say: sorry to hear, bad break ups are tough. what are you concerned about with our date? Fortunately we'll have fun and melt any stress away with some cathartic laughs

0
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