FUCKED UP COLD APPROACH TEXT - How To Recover?

3 Comments
3 Cmts
J

28 Posts (+2)

62 Cmts (+15)

J

28 Posts (+2), 62 Cmts (+15)

Approached this cute girl when walking to car from college campus.

She was late for a presentation, but she seemed into me so I walked with her like 3-4min. Made her laugh, showed high smv, etc. When we got to her building she asked if I wanted to exchange numbers.

Then I fucked it up fast smfh. Other girls have reacted positively to closing for the date right away so I thought it would work, but she called me out and I failed the shit test. Initially she was definitely interested though.

I was thinking of waiting 3-4 days then using the "if you're too nervous, I'd understand" unless there is something better. Thoughts? (PS. Alex please don't use this for video. I really wouldn't want her to see it).

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O

2 Posts (+0), 1 Cmt (+0)

I'm even more inexperienced than you so I cannot help you much, sorry. I just thought your double text at the end was a bit unnecessary. I was curious though on your cold approaching. I'm 21 years old and go to university too so I'd like to do more cold approaching I'm a pussy so I haven't done it much. I've only tried it with a total of 6 girls in my whole life. What is your strategy when you cold approach? Like what is your opener? Also I would barely know how to keep the conversation going for 3-4 minutes while walking, I'm introverted so I don't talk to anyone that much in general.

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J

28 Posts (+2), 62 Cmts (+15)

Yeah I think you're right, the first text was manageable but the second one was shit.

Regarding your question... I barely have free time, so I just recently started cold approaching. With this girl I was pretty nervous. I started overthinking because I thought she was out of my league, so I just walked passed her. But then I realized I would regret being a pussy, so I quickly jogged back, got her attention by saying "hey, excuse me", and then I said "Hey, sorry to bother you. I was just heading to my car but I thought your style was cute and wanted to say hi." I also got lucky here because I just happened to be her type, so I could tell she was cool with me walking with her.

In my case, I'm not in school anymore but I have a job on campus. I actually don't approach there too often because my campus is relatively small and I don't want to get recognized. I usually start by getting the girl's attention followed by "hey sorry to bother to you. I was just going - (to lab, to meet friends, etc) - but I thought your style was cute and wanted to say hi". The girl usually says "Oh thank you" and then from there I'll ask what she's up to and gauge her reaction.

A few tips I'd give:

  1. Find a coach who's infield you resonate with and try to apply his practices. For me that was Vadeem because we have similar taste in women and he has more of the humor/vibe that I have. Alex's stuff is good too, but he goes for different girl's than me, so his approach style is a bit different. Also watch Alex's podcast with JackDenmo. That guy has a really good vibe when he approaches.

  2. Just do it. Even if you're nervous literally just say my line. Eventually you'll realize most girls are nice about it even if she's not into you. I learned this when one of the first girls I went up to started giggling and smiling when I complimented her. I didn't build enough sexual vibes and didn't pull, but I could tell she appreciated it even if she told me she had a boyfriend.

  3. Don't go into interview mode. I've seen a lot of beginners do that out of nervousness. They started asking too many questions. It can get annoying for the girl, and also leads to platonic vibes. Instead, try to talk to her a bit, and find something to playfully tease her about, like if she was a friend.

  4. When I was younger I was really extroverted but I've turned into an introvert over time, so I feel you. One thing that helps me is practicing by myself in the mirror. Sounds lame, but you get a feel for your facial expressions, tonality, conversation threads, etc. How you say things matters much more than what you say.

  5. Try to looksmaxx, but don't get hung up on it while you approach. Obviously going to the gym, groomed facial hair, style, etc, is important. But honestly, I look a lot better now, and I'm currently pulling less than I did when I was skinny teen who dressed like shit. The difference is I used to be naturally social and funny, and that fun, confident vibe is probably the most important part of success with women.

  6. Remember girls have flaws and insecurities too. The girl I went up to today looked perfect from far away, but as we started talking I noticed some acne scars and little things like that. She's still really cute though, but if I didn't go up to her I would still have an idealized version of her that I thought was completely out of my league, when in reality, she was interested in me too.

Good luck bruv and lmk if you have more questions (I'm still beginner-intermediate, but my fuck ups have taught me a lot so far)

1
avilench . Avatar

393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)

Yes. Send yours after 3 days

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