I'm a 23 yr old virgin still. Got this girls number off of tinder. She was average looking a little chubby did not brother me as I'm tired of being a virgin.

After getting the number took a while to get date as our schedules did not line up. I did the wine close at mine. Even though I'm still living with parents wanted her to agree to that first. Closer to day of date I made some shit up about how I have leak, dry wall damage, and potential mold and didn't want anyone over till fixed. This actually happened to my parents house a few months back and I had pics of it I sent to make it believable. Told her mold removers are booked up and it won't be fixed anytime soon. I then get her to suggest her place which is an hour and twenty away from me (I'm really tired of being a virgin) but I told her I'm 40min away. Since I'm driving that far I get her to agree to buy wine.

She reschedules twice I persist and 3rd reschedule works. She doesn't have time to buy wine so I buy on the way over. I drive over hour get to her place. In the plastic bag with wine I also bring my Hitachi Magic wand cordless I spent $170 on. But I keep the wand in the bag concealed as I take out the wine and while she is looking for stemware I covertly shove the wand in bag under her couch near front door. I guess I was thinking once clothes were off I'd bring it out and it wouldn't be as weird as me walking through the front door with wine in one hand and wand in the other lol.

We drink wine I show her some pics I got with my sony alpha camera from Yellowstone trip I went on week prior. I couldn't get pics to show for like 15 min because her laptop was a Mac lol. We we're talking the whole time cracking jokes every now and then. Just kept talking and talking lost track of time it had been an hour since I got there. finally start putting my hand on her leg intermitently then running hand up and down her leg she is receptive, start putting my hand on small of her back with my other hand simultaneasly rubbing her leg, she's receptive looks down sort of bites her lip. I'm doing all this escalation while keeping the conversation going and maintaining eye contact. But this is where I puss out, never felt a right moment to go for the kiss, plus I wasn't all that attracted to her. After 10 minutes of escalating with no kiss she gets up to go to bathroom. She comes out starts playing with her dogs I join in. It's at this point I hardcore DLV embarrass my self by giving a story of how I was a virgin til 19 and been with 4 women telling a little story about each encounter even though I'm actually still a virgin. We we're talking about sexual topics beforehand. I had these stories in case she asked. But she never asked in the first place.
She responds with "wow can't believe you've only been with 4 women"
I pussily reply "ugh is it that surprising?"
she says "yea-well I guess not so surprising."
This makes me feel like a pussy. After going on about that I then sit back on couch. I wait expectingly for her to sit back next to me without asking, she does. I slowly start escalating again this time like 20 minutes with no kiss. She's making sexual inuendos I just chuckle passively not adding in any of my own like a pussy. She hints that she's tired I'm probably tired and I might want to sleep over, again chuckle passively like a pussy. At one point she leaned back exposing the bra under her crop top. I'm still sitting there just stroking my left hand up and down the small of her bare back and right hand up and down thigh still no kiss at this point. shortly after she hints that she gotta go to bed soon, she's gonna have to kick me out soon. We still sitting on the couch though her head is lowered onto my chest while I'm still just caressing back and leg keeping the conversation barely alive. She then gets up stretches said it was fun but she gotta wake up early but also says "I'll give you that kiss you've been dying for before you leave."

I walk out to my car we say our goodbyes she kisses me but I was in my head and also didn't realize how dry and sunburnt my lips were, the kiss sucked lol. She says text when ur home.

Halfway home I realized I left my Hitachi Magic wand cordless at her place under the couch. I panic at first then just start laughing my ass off at the ridiculous situation. First date strait to her place, could have popped my penis cherry, but fail to close and leave my sex toy behind lmfao. After I'm done crying from laughter I send her a text saying

"Made it home. It definitely wasn't on tonight, thanks for being polite about it."
"PS I left something behind. Try not to piss yourself when you find it 😅🤣"

She says "Good morning sorry I was passed out by the time you made it home I was very sleepy. That's what that bag is by the door haha I haven't looked in it 🤣"

We make plans for me to pic it up. A week later I pic up my sex toy that I've never used. I walk out the front door with my wand in hand both me and the Magic Wand still virgins.

As I'm exiting I say to the girl "sorry for wasting your time the other day"

She says "You didn't waste my time, I had fun"

I rely not addressing the comment "alright take care"

Next girl I'm with:

I won't talk for an hour without escalating with touch

Won't give my fake sexual past story unsolicited. Hell I might say 9 girls and I was 17yr old my first time if asked.

I'll make an effort at making sexual inuendos and kissing way sooner

I won't make up some elaborate strory of why she can't come over.

I'll simply say "I'm in between apartments right now. I'm crashing with Family for the time being."