Feedback Wanted: Can’t retain a girl to save my life
307 Posts (+139), 379 Cmts (+32)
This is a girl I closed last Monday. I posted the LR in the Forums. As I was dropping her off she brought up us seeing each other again & we made plans but mentioned that their would be a small chance that she’d be out of town for work, which ended up happening. You’ll see post sex she had a really good time & was excited to meet again. But then, looks like she just stopped caring.
Date went well in my opinion. She stood over til 3am & was a lot of fun. Over text, I was mainly trying to just figure out when she would be back in town. & Then she ends up double texting me once she is, but then doesn’t help move it forward when it comes to us meeting.
My first voice note was offering us to meet tmrw night. & Then my final voice note was “You don’t sound confident. Look if you’re not into this, just let me know. I was looking forward to us seeing each other again, but I can stop trying”
Tbh this shit is just exhausting man. I’m just tired of getting into complex text games post first date to meet again. Just serial one night stands & no rotation of girls at all.
Me: All good, enjoy your trip. When do you get back
Her: Silence
Me: Question marks my text
Her: Hey
Her: Nope I’m in Atlanta rn
Her: Hits me up once she's back in town
Me: We should celebrate
Her: Lol ohhh shall we?
Me: Indeed we shall. When are you free
Her: Silence
Me: Re-engage
Her: I’ve been busy, I’m leaving to SF this Sat, I’m not sure, I’ll let you know
All of it just reads as disinterest to me. That’s two instances of trying to move things forward that she gave me silence to & then when I re-engaged yesterday third time another instance of silence with no effort to make us meeting again.
Unless it’s just that these girls find me attractive enough to bang, but not enough to want to do it again deep fake or not, & they’re just being polite. Or of course emotional investment or sex game isn’t mind blowing. In this case, I’m curious what you think man.
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so here are my thoughts. The girl seems interested still. Clearly she has a busy job with traveling. As someone who used to travel a lot for work as well it can be draining scheduling and energy wise. With that said. I think you probably need to do some more regular chat / comfort building if you want to retain. If you read this text exchange back you are constantly just working on logistics with her and not asking her about her trips or anything.
Remember what Alex's says, post hook up you treat them as friends if you want to retain. Would you treat your guy friends this way? Or would you ask them about their trip. I mean you could throw some flintiness in there. You did a touch of that with the souvenir line but maybe just be like "you crush those meetings?" or some shit like that to make a bit of comfort. I get the feeling some of these girls think you just want them for sex only. If you want to retain you are going to have to connect with them and fuck them well.
How would you rate how you connected with her and how was the sex for her?
307 Posts (+139), 379 Cmts (+32)
Isn't the goal to get the second meet in as soon as possible though? I don't think she's interested anymore unfortunately. Just sudden interest level drop even when I re-engaged with the Justin meme.
I thought we had a good time & she was at my place until 3 in the morning. It was good sex but nothing too crazy or out there. I personally really enjoyed her personality, she had a great sense of humor. I'd probably put it at 6.5 to 7/10. I'm obviously biased though
normally it is but you are having trouble getting girls to go on the second date. So either you have to fix some leak in the in person game or build more comfort in the text. It just feels like all you are doing is saying "when are you coming through again?" in like 4 different ways.
maybe bring up the date and play into the fun of it.
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
You have your answer. Continue working on your sex game. Until then, don't expect to retain a girl and actually behave as such. Continue getting new lays and get laid consistently. Practice more and more
24 Posts (+1), 61 Cmts (+4)
I retained a girl. Get a funkybod. The muscle shirt was a game changer
57 Posts (+12), 282 Cmts (+81)
This girl was clearly interested in meeting up with you again in the beginning. I don't think it was any specific thing you did but rather all these small things which then over time resulted in her losing interest. Mainly the fact that you came across as kind of needy and also you put her on a pedestal which is a big no no.
Whenever a girl I've already banged tells me a certain day is not going to work I'll just reply with "Ok 👌" and then just wait for them to hit me up again. If they aren't offering an alternative day then just back off. When they see that you aren't chasing them they become more interested in you. Sometimes it takes a week and sometimes it can even take a month but they do almost always hit you back up again if there was high interest before that.
307 Posts (+139), 379 Cmts (+32)
Tell me, how exactly did I put her on a pedestal & came across needy
Me: All good, enjoy your trip. When do you get back
Her: Silence
Me: Question marks my text since she didn't answer
Her: Nope I’m in Atlanta rn
Her: Hits me up once she's back in town
Me: We should celebrate
Her: Lol ohhh shall we?
Me: Indeed we shall. When are you free
Her: Silence
Me: Re-engage
Her: I’ve been busy, I’m leaving to SF this Sat, I’m not sure, I’ll let you know
All of it just reads as disinterest to me. That’s two instances of trying to move things forward that she gave me silence to & then when I re-engaged yesterday third time another instance of silence with no effort to make us meeting again bro.
307 Posts (+139), 379 Cmts (+32)
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