Did I fuck this up?
11 Posts (+0), 15 Cmts (+0)
We made a plan to get a drink this Friday and she just canceled. Here's the entire thread, is there still something I can do, or is this one finished?
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23 Posts (+4), 187 Cmts (+71)
This reminds me of a video Alex did on Beta shaming over a year ago, I'll link it here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RJS8iuykDY
11 Posts (+0), 15 Cmts (+0)
Like am I a beta or am I just acting beta. Is this fixable or do I just need to resign myself to being treated like this?
11 Posts (+0), 15 Cmts (+0)
Yeah I watched that too... is it a death sentence? Can I change this or am I just fucked?
23 Posts (+4), 187 Cmts (+71)
Say
"Well, I don't actually have roses and a harpist in my backyard. It was a joke, silly. Also, I prefer building chemistry first before snuggling. If there's no chemistry, all you're going to get is a platonic cheek kiss goodbye"
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
It's kind of finished because you lost major points for not understanding her hesitation.
"And you decided to communicate this last minute rather than being clear about not liking the plan?"
76 Posts (+7), 37 Cmts (+3)
I’m going to have to agree with Chaz on this one - the snuggle line was pretty cringe. I wouldn’t get too much in your head, about this since you’ve never even met her. Always take these as a learning moment.
11 Posts (+0), 15 Cmts (+0)
Hey guys I'd like some more feed back on this. It's pretty disappointing to spend a week setting up plans just to have her cancel right before the date. She even ended the conversation so there's nothing more I can say. What did I do so wrong to be 'beta shamed'
I'm going to have to change alot to start getting the results I want
32 Posts (+21), 576 Cmts (+276)
yeah man that snuggle comment probably is what threw it off, a little cringe tbh I'd just move on, but if you want a hail mary:
"too much too soon I suppose, could you give me a vibe check on what you think I'm looking for"
and try to reframe it but again, I'd just move on