Hey guys, screenshots speak for themselves but here’s my thought process :
- I prefer alcohol, and not just cos of the more sexual vibe (i’ve work so I’m not free after dark, and I don’t like coffee in the night since I won’t be able to sleep)
- still, I understand the alcohol-with-strangers concern so I don’t mind coffee dates in principle. At any rate, I usually agree to these as a vague soft close, and on the actual date I just lead it into alcohol and the girl usually complies
- but in this specific interaction, I feel like it’s now become a frame battle (“wine on a first date is completely normal”) which i don’t wanna lose control. In other words, I feel like at this point I can’t just agree to it and then later on move it into alcohol without being called out
So now I’m wondering if I should :
- Continue addressing her alcohol comfort concern/objection and/or double down
- Be honest about me not having coffee at night and propose a place where they serve both coffee and booze
- Just agree to coffee (but still after working hours). Maybe still try to lead into booze on actual date
Hope everything makes sense. I tend to overthink these
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393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
i would just say "how come?" you gotta get to the underline concer or objection it could still be a number of things at this point, you have to narrow it down
40 Posts (+22), 151 Cmts (+51)
If you’re trying to meet up to hook up you should have sexualised before soft closing to establish intent
8 Posts (+10), 580 Cmts (+268)
I agree in a sense here but you don’t NEED to sexualize to achieve a wine date at all. It’s ideal but not necessary for the interaction to go forward. Anyway, I would just address the alcohol concern head on. Something like “What exactly is your concern?” or “Why’s that?” -> after she voices her concern, depending on the severity I would try to first use humor to play it off and then maybe mention the fact that you don’t drink coffee at night, you can also always offer the compromise of going somewhere that serves both