So this is a chick I matched with on bumble. We chatted for a while and then I soft closed her. Everything seemed to be fine until the day of the date. I noticed she was giving me these one word answers but I wasn't sure whether there was an issue so I didn't bring it up. She then of course ended up flaking on me with a pretty bad excuse. This is the conversation beginning from the wine close: (Thursday) Me: You drink wine? Her: Yes Me: Perfect let's split this bottle of pinot grigio I have sometime soon Her: Sounds good Me: Do you have plans for this weekend? Her: Yeah I'm going to (city) Me: Well fuck we'll have to do a rain check for next week then Her: Next week should be fine (Sunday) Me: How did your trip go? Her: Pretty good I visited some family while I was there Me: Nice š you'll have to tell me more on our wine date Her: That sounds nice Me: Do you have any plans for tomorrow? Her: Pretty sure I got nothing Me: Okay š¤ well how about we meetup tomorrow evening then? Her: Sounds good (Monday) Me: Let's meet at 7PM. My address is (my address) Her: Okay Me: You planning on driving here? Her: No Me: Alright š (7.20PM) Me: What's your ETA? (8.50PM) Me: (sent her a screenshot of her bumble profile where it says she is always going to be honest and speak frankly about everything) Me: So about speaking frankly... Her: I didn't get any notifications from bumble and I accidentally fell asleep for a bit too long š Me: You woke up pretty conveniently immediately after I sent that Her: I already woke up at 8.30PM but you don't have to believe me š Me: It doesn't really matter whether you're telling the truth or not because the bigger issue is you don't seem to respect my time She stopped responding after that but honestly I wasn't really interested in meeting up with this chick after she sent her "excuse" so I'm not looking to salvage this anymore. I'm just interested in whether I fucked up here at some point? The only thing I can think of is maybe I should have soft closed her again since we didn't speak for a couple of days...?
39 Posts (+8), 697 Cmts (+226)
I think comfort building in general does. I think going for the confirmation straight away subconsciously says that you're used to getting flaked on, and it feels too logical and staight forward. I would imagine that the difference is a bit minimal, but if she's on the fence, it's good to get her into a positive emotional frame before confirming. It's just my approach though. Test it out for yourself
7 Posts (+2), 32 Cmts (+19)
Great advise, had much less flaking when doing the simple - Looking nice and fit for our date the day of/day before