Didn't post screenshots of banter and get to know you comments between closing and confirming. How often do you guys have things like this happen? Also, I still feel like, "Picked out a cute outfit for tomorrow?" is the best thing for confirming a date the day before, but does anyone disagree? And how about the classic, "If you're too nervous, I'd totally understand!" Is "It's okay if you don't wanna do this" a better option for scenarios where you're ignored confirming the date?
+2
13 Comments
13 Cmts
4y ago
R
26 Posts (+4), 116 Cmts (+37)
5 Posts (+2), 372 Cmts (+206)
Her: So are we still on for tonight?
You: You're actually one of the most toxic girls I've ever met
Her: I am still more than glad to meet you
You: You are making up random bullshit
You can only choose 1 of: make meet happen / justify actions. You chose "justify actions"
3 Posts (+3), 34 Cmts (+9)
Make meet happen with this girl? Dude you good?
There are better options. Even if it did happen the whole frame was thrown off without a good way to bring it back (noting how she really is). She’s probably like that because of all the other thirsty guys playing it safe (that’s why is always good to not play it safe boys, especially from start).
He isn’t justifying actions, he’s calling her on her bullshit.
Edit: reading it again. Yes he does justify his actions for a bit and that’s bad. But towards the end it turns into calling her out.
5 Posts (+2), 372 Cmts (+206)
I haven't really had any opinion on whether meeting up with the girl is a good idea. OP wanted to -- his words! -- make the meet happen, and justify his actions. It's not a great example of either of those things tbh, and "how could I have brought this around to a meet" is a much more interesting line to follow than "here's screenshots of a toxic girl for Alex to make a video of". Lesson #1 from these screenshots is that continually pouring gas on an argument doesn't get you laid.
How you bring the frame back? The moment it got started, "I meant it to be cute and funny, things don't always come across right in text... let's pretend I said, are we still good for tonight?"
Oh wait, the "toxic" girl already said all of that.
Anywho lesson #2 is that misunderstandings and misinterpretations happen to everyone, the difference is how good communicators address them.
Look, texting in dating apps is a way for people to see how the other person will handle themselves in a meet. Here we have a girl who's assertive but conciliatory and willing to explain her position and compromise. And a guy who's hostile, escalates everything, puts being right above being good company, insists her feelings are wrong because other girls felt differently. She calls him out on using manipulative lines that he literally got from a dating mastermind site, he gaslights her**. I'd choose a night with her over a night with him any old time.
Lastly, she's "like that" because she's filled with the special confidence you get when you're swimming in dick, and you know you can get dick while also getting your boundaries respected. Get used to it men, if you can't navigate a boundary or smooth over a problem, you'll have a hard time competing for top-shelf pussy.
** I'm not saying don't use lines or don't use techniques, I'm saying if you get called out on it acknowledge at least to YOURSELF first that you got caught running game which is manipulation. Then try to have some man/woman or two-adults-talking conversation and smooth it out.