I've been on dating apps on and off for a year and have gone on around a few dozen first dates after improving my text game. Forget about getting them home, I can't even get past the first date as most just don't reply or just ghost/unmatch after the date and the ones who do, mention that there wasn't any spark/ we weren't compatible. I'm completely frustrated on what is causing this issue as there is no feedback whatsoever apart from knowing I fucked up somewhere. Self assessment: 1) Conversation/flirting: First off, I think I am a terrible flirt irl, my convos feel pretty boring even if I ask them exciting and different questions based off of advice here and in general. I also have a bad sense of humor and cannot make any sexual jokes even if I try hard. It is the complete opposite of what I come off while doing text game. In fact, I STILL don't even know how to flirt/what flirting is nor seem to learn it from all these dates. 2) Physical escalation: Advice online tells me I need to sexualize the convo and physically escalate to touching her but the girls just seem to be hesitant to answer or ask a question in return after sexualizing and or just straight up reject my advances of touch physically. I can get in a couple of shoulder taps and hand touching by using her bracelet/nails/tattoos as an excuse but have zero idea on how to go beyond that, especially if we're sitting at a bar table side to side....it also feels super awkward to put my arm around the girl's shoulder/waist or brush her hair since i got rejected for doing that on multiple dates. 3) Kissing: I try to go for a kiss at the end while leaving sometimes but the girl either puts her face away thinking of it as a harmless hug or just gets super surprised when I just go for it instead. Sometimes I just don't feel like kissing since I know the date didn't end well as the girl just uses an excuse to cut the date short quickly. In fact, all of my dates never last for more than an hour and half. 4) Venues: I've tried to switch things up and try different venues: Coffee shops, bars, dance clubs, walk in the parks, arcades, bowling and restaurants but none seem to work. Kind of feeling down after so many rejections (got rejected again just now on today's date with the typical excuse of 'we aren't compatible' while typing this lol) and have zero idea on where to focus or how to improve my perceived and other possible shortcomings. Any advice? @avilench If you offer mentorship for in-person dating or know anyone who does it here locally please lmk, thanks in advance -PHX Arizona Local
3 Posts (+0), 14 Cmts (+2)
3 Posts (+0), 14 Cmts (+2)
Of course it should be, but if I can't get a second date at all then shouldn't that be a bigger focus to work on fixing rather than trying to get laid on the first date itself? I mean if my dating skills are so bad that most girls want to cut the convo short and leave early, I'd wanna fix that first. unless you're telling me that trying to get laid by the first date itself is gonna increase my chances of getting a second one
32 Posts (+21), 576 Cmts (+276)
knowing why you can't get a 2nd date is too abstract, knowing why you can't close will be in your face as the girl is right there with you. While setting up for 2nd dates the girl is who knows where. She could be on her phone getting hit up by her ex she loves, friends telling her no, busy with work, she expected you to look/act different etc
So I'd focus on things that are more in control, in your face.
I know this is not what you want to hear my dude, but again, cold approach is the essence of game, If you're not doing that, you're missing out imo
But if you want something else to try, you can just text all the girls
"hey no hard feelings, I'm just into self-improvement so want to know why this cut off? you can be blunt, I dont get offended, just want to improve myself if possible"
3 Posts (+0), 14 Cmts (+2)
The thing that put me off cold approaching at night is listening to Indian PE’s story. Although intended to be motivational, he said it took him a year cold approaching every other day and getting top tier pua wings to just get 1 lay. Although he’s good now, I don’t see myself doing this like a full time job all by myself. If only I had a community of friends that motivated and held me accountable for it apart from providing feedback then I guess I could try it but just randomly approaching chicks with zero guidance seems like a recipe for disaster and demotivation.