Met girl on hinge, near exact my type, she has a thing for redheads, ok this is gonna be a layup. We vibe over text, lots of investment from both sides. We setup date for last night after like 5 days of talking on hinge. She asks a favor if I can come pick her up (she's 18, in like first week of college, lives in dorms no car, usually goes for much older guys). I say something like "yeah for sure, but ofcourse.. it'll cost you". Probably shouldn't have said that in retrospect, but she replies "what's the price hun" and I say "guess we might have to find out" and she says something that she's not tryna get freaky on the first date so I say "Freaky? Get your mind outta the gutter girl". That's the context. We have our date, nice romantic on beach at night drinking wine for an hour, then go to chill in car with some music, start making out and rubbing her pussy from outside her pants. She's totally into it, moaning hot. I end it relatively quickly to not lose any sexual tension from making out too long. I say let's go, we go back to mine. Put on some random show, watch & cuddle & chat for 5-10 mins. Start making out again, I escalate, start rubbing her body, then her pussy from outside. Then fingering her, she loves it. I think to myself "OK this is definitely going down", and unzip her pants, start pulling off both her pants and panties at same time. This is first point where she shows resistance. She doesn't want her panties off. I persist a bit to gauge whether she's being serious or just playing hard to get. She's definitely being serious. Ok I ask what's up. She doesn't want to fuck or have me see her pussy because she didn't shave and didn't mentally prepare for a day before having sex and is a bit drunk. I say I don't care if she didn't shave it doesn't matter to me and I try to resolve her other concerns. To no avail. I pull back for a minute and persist again, same answer. Except this time her legs are literally shaking. I get weirded tf out like she's either cold or terrified. We switch to grinding with her underwear and me naked lmao. She says she has to leave soon, ok. I say "Wanna go down on me", she does, it's nice. Then we dress and leave. In the car ride I try to address what was going on with the shaking, she jokingly said she thought she "might have been joining the me too movement tonight". I'm like wtff no I would never do anything like that ever. This was my first experience getting this much LMR and I persisted way too much. Usually a little persistence works, but I fucked up. We get to her dorm and chat for few minutes, make out a bit, say we will hangout again on Tuesday. She says "I hope you aren't too disappointed". I say no worries but we can try again Tuesday, she's says yup ok. She leaves and I text her which you can see in the screenshot. She unmatched me very early this morning, before like 6 am and ghosted me. Fuck me. Hottest girl gone on date with. Keep in mind I'm sharing the bad details here but we still vibed after the shaking shit and she went down on me so like she was still into it. Whole night was a good vibe until that 1-2 minutes where I persisted too much. Even after was good vibe so the fact she woke up this morning and ghosted hurts actually. She was also texting her roommate the whole night to give updates since her roommate is like protective or something. That's cool, smart. Maybe her roommate convinced her to ghost me? Not sure if she has past trauma. She is from NYC and said it's common there so maybe she's paranoid about it. I don't blame her, I know I persisted too much (even took condom out of box, not wrapper, to see her reaction, she wasn't into it) Any advice? Maybe wait a couple days and text her from another number?

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17 Comments
17 Cmts
B

12 Posts (+7)

36 Cmts (+8)

B

12 Posts (+7), 36 Cmts (+8)

L

44 Posts (+21), 550 Cmts (+363)

"yeah absolutely, I hope the next one is even crazier, but only if you're up for that. I'm super attracted to you & i def need to maintain lol. Thanks for your understanding. But ya I def want to see you again, no expectations"

That coulda saved it, bc she would show that to her friend, and her friend would be like "honestly I was thinking screw this effing asshole based on what you said before, but based on this text you could give him 1 more chance"...but notice how everything I say is thru that prism of win/win.

Btw this may be tough to hear but I'll give it to you straight - her 11:33 text was tantamount to her patting you on the head like "aw, it's ok don't be sad, there there now" - full-on people pleaser mode. Then the friend was like "hell no stop responding to this dude" and convinced her to ditch you.

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L

44 Posts (+21), 550 Cmts (+363)

IF you want to do the texting her from a different number thing (which I don't endorse but...)

Really try to internalize the mindset here-and commit to adopting it, you could copy-paste this:

"Hey Sarah, it's actually Bill, and I hope you'll hear me out. I felt the most amazing connection with you and I know I messed up by not being aware of your experience. When you got really nervous, I know you said you wanted to do stuff, but I still should've responded differently. Should have been more thoughtful. That's on me. It's honestly taken me so long to find someone like you. I hope you'll consider giving me another chance. I def want to see you again, and there will be absolutely no expectations on my end. I know I'm texting you from another number which I realize is totally weird, but thats how much i wanted to tell you this. Otherwise - truly wish you the best. -Bill"

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B

12 Posts (+7), 36 Cmts (+8)

Thanks for the text, I might text her but not sure yet. I was thinking of apologizing like you have here and everything, but then waiting until she responds to ask for a second chance. Basically just to say sorry and let her become comfortable with that before asking for second chance which I thought could be too much in the first text

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B

12 Posts (+7), 36 Cmts (+8)

True I should've pre-empted the ghost by texting that but since our vibe was so good before and after I thought we were good. But, ofcourse, we weren't. I like the win/win stuff thanks. Yeah maybe she is a people pleaser. I wouldn't have thought so because she's from NYC and is slightly ratchet because of that, but I do think her friend definitely convinced her or changed her mind.

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