Hey so this is going to be a bit of a fucked up post but my lay count is approaching 300-500ish? ..and most have come from online game. I didn't keep track but there are weeks where I will bang like 6 new girls in 7 days or 7 girls in 5 days and go on rampages. I've had over 100 3 somes.. 3 new chicks in one day from Tinder. .and while that sounds fun and it is... I'd say I'm also very emotionally fucked up.. and it's kind of making it worse I'm currently dating a chick who's bi and we've had 3 somes.. but anytime she complains or has a serious issue with me I don't even want to deal with it.. Like I care about her but I'm stuck in this frame of "I'm not putting up with this BS" and honestly I'm probably only getting the BS because i'm "running" my "boyfriend" "game" wrong.. Either way ..to the advanced guys.. when you have options do you ever feel like you don't even want to hear anything negative or critical from these chicks? Like thinking to yourself as she's complaining.. " bitch don't you know how easily I can replace you.. I'm not going to cater to your negativity".. shit like that? It sounds fucked up as I'm typing it.. but I'm trying to be as honest as possible and get genuine feedback.. How do you draw the line between being a good human being vs not "rewarding negative behavior" .. ie she's mad about some BS and you talking to her is like a reward ... like oh she threw a fit and got attention .. I mean it'd be dope to like care about somebody and build a good healthy emotionally connected relationship long term but I legit don't want to end up like those dudes who's chicks yell at them and they just take it.. Again after a few hundred chicks.. I'm noticing a pattern.. well two patterns... The common denominator is me.. so i'm causing this behavior in some cases I'm sure. It's starting to seem like in order to have a GF and not just rail tons of chicks.. you gotta deal with a lot of emotional hysterics and negative bullshit. Can anyone relate to women feeling "replaceable"? Anybody find a solution to this? I've literally got multiple girls cussing at me or "not talking to me" playing the who's frame is stronger and "who will crack first and text" frame on Snapchat right now.. ..my ex FWB is also no longer "able" to see me because I post too many pics with other women and didn't post a pic of her one time and she doesn't want to get hurt.. keep in mind we've 3 wayed together and she's asked me if Ive ever been curious about swing clubs.. but she called me heartless and emotionless .. I'm like yo .. you asked me to be swingers.. and we never talked about being exclusive.. wtf are you talking about? You know what I'm saying? It seems like drama to see if Im a pussy or something and my response is like GTFO of here w that Are these like "reverse-shit tests" meaning instead of testing my congruence to being an icy playing they're testing me for emotions? Like im supposed to say no baby I dont want to have 3 ways any more.. so they can see I'm emotionally attached? Maybe I'm cuddling and going on actual dates too much and they're getting mixed signals? The girl I'm currently seeing like literally ASKS me to find us girls ..and she's mad because my posts on "snap and ig seem like I want attention and its unattractive" and Im like go be unattracted then .. hit me up when you're back to being the girl who's head over hells in love with me and tells me how much she loves me everyday because I'm the best I'd love to be healthy w these chicks but I also don't want to hear sad bullshit and complaints about my behavior all day when theres plenty about them i could bring up but i chose not to Especially when banging 18-22 year old hotties..todays culture promoting "having anxiety" ..this shit can get messy when being being positive and focusing on good things gets "re-framed" as you don't care Anyway haha I'm fucking lost guys .. any constructive feedback would be appreciated. TDLR: I've banged a lot of chicks and I feel torn between replacing them constantly or listening to them complain about their anxiety or "feelings" i.e. shit they're imagining ..catering to their bullshit ..and calling that a relationship. Advice?
0 Posts (+0), 4 Cmts (+0)
You are on another level my friend. My count is a mere 350 (tracked), I'm a typical blonde Caucasian, with only 1 real threesome under my belt, and plenty of 3 girls in one day, and a single 4 girls in one day. About 60% of my lays are from online, while the rest are from street game/night game/social game, etc.
As you've pointed out, WE are the fucked up ones.
With the new "pop em and drop em" dating culture, most relationships are literally on the edge of being dissolved.
If we don't connect on a spiritual, emotional, physical, and interests level with someone, then that person will seem replaceable.
We are habitualized to replace these girls, and perhaps most relationships in our lives. It's a social and emotional skillset that we've mastered.
Furthermore, the non-stop desire to seek novelty and validation, in order to get our "feel good" dopamine fix, is what ultimately fucks us up the most.
The dopamine rush of getting social media validation. The dopamine rush of getting girls to hit you up for sex. The dopamine rush of the novelty of each lay/bang/smash.
We've discovered that there are no consequences to having endless amounts of sex with beautiful girls. There are no consequences to replacing them/throwing them away, and finding something new...
Except of course our own mental downward spiral into a reactive emotional state, where we end up feeling empty regardless... because that "feel good" emotion has already worn off, and you need the next lay, and we end up back on our dating apps minutes later (even after a 3some/4some, etc etc).
Banging hundreds of women ISN'T wrong - I think it's fucking awesome. There is no "truth" in reality. You can do whatever the fuck you want, you can live an awesome life of debauchery and hedonism (I definitely do, and so do hundreds of thousands of other guys).
But if it comes at a major cost to your OWN happiness, and mental clarity, and focus, AND people point out that we have some serious social ineptitudes, THEN it's time to figure out how to help yourself.
I can't say that meditation has helped me overcome the constant NEED to get women, or the desire to test new methods to getting girls (like trying new messaging templates, or as what you did with sending screenshots of sex conversations)...
But meditation definitely relaxes the mind - ESPECIALLY when your brain short-circuits itself into an emotional chaotic state.
Long story short, your issue isn't simply seeing women as disposable.
Your issue is finding a mental balance where your mind isn't in a chaotic free-for-all to cut off anything that doesn't keep you in a constant dopamine-infused "feel-good"-seeking state.
P.S. I try to do 10 minutes of meditation daily. Still working on it, but it helps a LOT.
1 Post (-1), 6 Cmts (+0)
if you're at 350 then 3sums can be easy... in fact they're actually easier than 1on1 in a lot of cases because of the social proof... SMV of you as a guy who has a bi girl ...AND SMV of the girl herself.. not to mention preselection.. ANNNND its most girls fantasy
What has been most effective for me thusfar has been prescreening girls for bi curiosity.. then getting the "most down" of them to be my value add for the other girl... its almost like e commerce drop shipping or arbitrage... i get one girl whos down.. then her existnce is what pulls the other girls..
BIG MAJOR KEY for me.. I almost NEVER .. EVER bring make it sexual... its always like me: "hey you ever been curious?".. her: "yea i think every girls is curious" me:"say what? youve wanted to do a 3 sum?? thats crazy .. omg my fwb is bi we should all hang out some time and get to know each other.."
Im never like "come over and 3 way now".. its always implied and if they have objections ..calibrate and down play it.. just hanging out.. we gotta meet and all like each other... super chill just a glass of wine and see what happens .. no expectations etc etc
Theres a good guide on here about it thats very similar to what I do .. im less sexual about it usually but this guide is straight forward and money
https://www.playingfire.com/how-to-have-a-threesome-on-tinder-detailed-breakdown-from-start-to-finish/
Step 2 is most important.. having the bi chick whos down to pull chicks with you.
0 Posts (+0), 4 Cmts (+0)
My circumstances are different. I'm a digital nomad that's been to a LOT of countries (in the 60's range), and I never stay in a country long enough to develop these kinds of situations.
But yea, everything you said about 3somes is true. At least 30% of the girls are down for a 3some (regardless of culture/demographics/country), and about 10% of those actually have a girl they can bring. But most of the time, you would have to put in the work for it.
But as I've said, I'm not in an area long enough, or I lose interest and move onto the next dopamine rush.
Are you primarily USA-based?
Also, Tinder (or whatever other online app) is definitely a goldmine, but it's also a pain in the ass/one of the most frustrating/distracting apps imaginable. Every 5 minutes you check for new notifications of your next potential lay. Afterwards, you lose about 15-50 minutes, because you need to get back into focus.
If you are into digital marketing (ecom/DS/arbitrage), then you understand the incredible value of focus at home... and that focus evaporates every time you open that app.