Any experienced guys have this FUCKED UP thing happen to them?
Hey so this is going to be a bit of a fucked up post but my lay count is approaching 300-500ish? ..and most have come from online game.
I didn't keep track but there are weeks where I will bang like 6 new girls in 7 days or 7 girls in 5 days and go on rampages. I've had over 100 3 somes.. 3 new chicks in one day from Tinder. .and while that sounds fun and it is... I'd say I'm also very emotionally fucked up.. and it's kind of making it worse
I'm currently dating a chick who's bi and we've had 3 somes.. but anytime she complains or has a serious issue with me I don't even want to deal with it..
Like I care about her but I'm stuck in this frame of "I'm not putting up with this BS" and honestly I'm probably only getting the BS because i'm "running" my "boyfriend" "game" wrong..
Either way ..to the advanced guys.. when you have options do you ever feel like you don't even want to hear anything negative or critical from these chicks? Like thinking to yourself as she's complaining.. " bitch don't you know how easily I can replace you.. I'm not going to cater to your negativity".. shit like that?
It sounds fucked up as I'm typing it.. but I'm trying to be as honest as possible and get genuine feedback..
How do you draw the line between being a good human being vs not "rewarding negative behavior" .. ie she's mad about some BS and you talking to her is like a reward ... like oh she threw a fit and got attention .. I mean it'd be dope to like care about somebody and build a good healthy emotionally connected relationship long term but I legit don't want to end up like those dudes who's chicks yell at them and they just take it..
Again after a few hundred chicks.. I'm noticing a pattern.. well two patterns...
- The common denominator is me.. so i'm causing this behavior in some cases I'm sure.
- It's starting to seem like in order to have a GF and not just rail tons of chicks.. you gotta deal with a lot of emotional hysterics and negative bullshit.
Can anyone relate to women feeling "replaceable"?
Anybody find a solution to this?
I've literally got multiple girls cussing at me or "not talking to me" playing the who's frame is stronger and "who will crack first and text" frame on Snapchat right now..
..my ex FWB is also no longer "able" to see me because I post too many pics with other women and didn't post a pic of her one time and she doesn't want to get hurt.. keep in mind we've 3 wayed together and she's asked me if Ive ever been curious about swing clubs.. but she called me heartless and emotionless .. I'm like yo .. you asked me to be swingers.. and we never talked about being exclusive.. wtf are you talking about?
You know what I'm saying? It seems like drama to see if Im a pussy or something and my response is like GTFO of here w that
Are these like "reverse-shit tests" meaning instead of testing my congruence to being an icy playing they're testing me for emotions? Like im supposed to say no baby I dont want to have 3 ways any more.. so they can see I'm emotionally attached? Maybe I'm cuddling and going on actual dates too much and they're getting mixed signals?
The girl I'm currently seeing like literally ASKS me to find us girls ..and she's mad because my posts on "snap and ig seem like I want attention and its unattractive" and Im like go be unattracted then .. hit me up when you're back to being the girl who's head over hells in love with me and tells me how much she loves me everyday because I'm the best
I'd love to be healthy w these chicks but I also don't want to hear sad bullshit and complaints about my behavior all day when theres plenty about them i could bring up but i chose not to
Especially when banging 18-22 year old hotties..todays culture promoting "having anxiety" ..this shit can get messy when being being positive and focusing on good things gets "re-framed" as you don't care
Anyway haha I'm fucking lost guys .. any constructive feedback would be appreciated.
TDLR: I've banged a lot of chicks and I feel torn between replacing them constantly or listening to them complain about their anxiety or "feelings" i.e. shit they're imagining ..catering to their bullshit ..and calling that a relationship. Advice?
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
Well, there’s a big difference between a girl just bieng negative or playing games and trying to honestly communicate to you about how she feels. The may seem like the same, but they’re definitely not
Healthy relationships aren’t built on constant frame battles but on mutual values and honest communication. And without me bieng there I can’t tell if it’s just you confusing thier attempts at communication as a “shit test” or you just picking girls who are actually playing games.
Any relationship will involve a little bit of a give though, you can’t have your way 100%. That is also Pua fantasy, whether it’s worth it depends on what you personally want
350+... can you share your profile if I PM you? Mine isn’t great and I’d like to improve it.
0 Posts (+0), 4 Cmts (+0)
You are on another level my friend. My count is a mere 350 (tracked), I'm a typical blonde Caucasian, with only 1 real threesome under my belt, and plenty of 3 girls in one day, and a single 4 girls in one day. About 60% of my lays are from online, while the rest are from street game/night game/social game, etc.
As you've pointed out, WE are the fucked up ones.
With the new "pop em and drop em" dating culture, most relationships are literally on the edge of being dissolved.
If we don't connect on a spiritual, emotional, physical, and interests level with someone, then that person will seem replaceable.
We are habitualized to replace these girls, and perhaps most relationships in our lives. It's a social and emotional skillset that we've mastered.
Furthermore, the non-stop desire to seek novelty and validation, in order to get our "feel good" dopamine fix, is what ultimately fucks us up the most.
The dopamine rush of getting social media validation. The dopamine rush of getting girls to hit you up for sex. The dopamine rush of the novelty of each lay/bang/smash.
We've discovered that there are no consequences to having endless amounts of sex with beautiful girls. There are no consequences to replacing them/throwing them away, and finding something new...
Except of course our own mental downward spiral into a reactive emotional state, where we end up feeling empty regardless... because that "feel good" emotion has already worn off, and you need the next lay, and we end up back on our dating apps minutes later (even after a 3some/4some, etc etc).
Banging hundreds of women ISN'T wrong - I think it's fucking awesome. There is no "truth" in reality. You can do whatever the fuck you want, you can live an awesome life of debauchery and hedonism (I definitely do, and so do hundreds of thousands of other guys).
But if it comes at a major cost to your OWN happiness, and mental clarity, and focus, AND people point out that we have some serious social ineptitudes, THEN it's time to figure out how to help yourself.
I can't say that meditation has helped me overcome the constant NEED to get women, or the desire to test new methods to getting girls (like trying new messaging templates, or as what you did with sending screenshots of sex conversations)...
But meditation definitely relaxes the mind - ESPECIALLY when your brain short-circuits itself into an emotional chaotic state.
Long story short, your issue isn't simply seeing women as disposable.
Your issue is finding a mental balance where your mind isn't in a chaotic free-for-all to cut off anything that doesn't keep you in a constant dopamine-infused "feel-good"-seeking state.
P.S. I try to do 10 minutes of meditation daily. Still working on it, but it helps a LOT.
if you're at 350 then 3sums can be easy... in fact they're actually easier than 1on1 in a lot of cases because of the social proof... SMV of you as a guy who has a bi girl ...AND SMV of the girl herself.. not to mention preselection.. ANNNND its most girls fantasy
What has been most effective for me thusfar has been prescreening girls for bi curiosity.. then getting the "most down" of them to be my value add for the other girl... its almost like e commerce drop shipping or arbitrage... i get one girl whos down.. then her existnce is what pulls the other girls..
BIG MAJOR KEY for me.. I almost NEVER .. EVER bring make it sexual... its always like me: "hey you ever been curious?".. her: "yea i think every girls is curious" me:"say what? youve wanted to do a 3 sum?? thats crazy .. omg my fwb is bi we should all hang out some time and get to know each other.."
Im never like "come over and 3 way now".. its always implied and if they have objections ..calibrate and down play it.. just hanging out.. we gotta meet and all like each other... super chill just a glass of wine and see what happens .. no expectations etc etc
Theres a good guide on here about it thats very similar to what I do .. im less sexual about it usually but this guide is straight forward and money
https://www.playingfire.com/how-to-have-a-threesome-on-tinder-detailed-breakdown-from-start-to-finish/
Step 2 is most important.. having the bi chick whos down to pull chicks with you.
0 Posts (+0), 4 Cmts (+0)
My circumstances are different. I'm a digital nomad that's been to a LOT of countries (in the 60's range), and I never stay in a country long enough to develop these kinds of situations.
But yea, everything you said about 3somes is true. At least 30% of the girls are down for a 3some (regardless of culture/demographics/country), and about 10% of those actually have a girl they can bring. But most of the time, you would have to put in the work for it.
But as I've said, I'm not in an area long enough, or I lose interest and move onto the next dopamine rush.
Are you primarily USA-based?
Also, Tinder (or whatever other online app) is definitely a goldmine, but it's also a pain in the ass/one of the most frustrating/distracting apps imaginable. Every 5 minutes you check for new notifications of your next potential lay. Afterwards, you lose about 15-50 minutes, because you need to get back into focus.
If you are into digital marketing (ecom/DS/arbitrage), then you understand the incredible value of focus at home... and that focus evaporates every time you open that app.
34 Posts (+1), 203 Cmts (+77)
1 out of 3 sexual experiences are threesomes? Alrighty then
Handful of things here...
Bi girl - why are you dating her? Sounds to me you guys dont actually click and youre just in it for the sex. If thats the case, its not surprising you dont care to engage her when things get heated.
It also depends what this ‘BS’ is. For some reason, PUA guys have real trouble w relationships and seem to forget women 101 when they start dating. If youve set the right frames w a girl, she’ll be largely submissive to you. On a further note, if she isn’t doing this and is just a histrionic psycho, then youve done a poor job as a supposedly high value guy finding a good partner and setting the right frames. Unless, again, youre just in it for the sex.
The frames you should set dont involve ‘coercion’ or ‘look at how many bitches I can fuck, you disposable slut’. The strongest frames you can have are strong boundaries and the honesty willingness to walk away. And then do it. Anything else is ineffective.
As you start to meet more girls, you do get the sense that women are ‘replaceable’ (I hate saying it like that.. lets just say relationships are replaceable). This blunts you to women you dont really click w, but ideally - HOPEFULLY - there are those select few who you do hit it off w on a deeper level. Maybe. Still figuring this one out myself lol, but I think its true. Its just rarer.
If you dont wanna be in a relationship, dont. Plenty of other bi girls out there youll click w better.
And if you are dating someone, id avoid the whole ‘post pics w other girls things’. Even if you guys fuck other girls together, the girl still wants to feel like a human. If its an open relationship, you do your thing, but it shouldn’t be shoved in your partners face. Nobody likes that. Dont ask dont tell kinda thing.
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
I very much agree with this as well. Pickup dudes often get “Choad anxiety” and think the girl is trying to manipulate them every time she expresses her feelings
1 Post (-1), 6 Cmts (+0)
Thanks for the feedback.. for clarity 1/3 of total closes are not 3 somes.. Ive had a couple long term gfs.. with whom I've had multiple 3 ways.
Like if a guy has slept with 10 girls but has had sex 1000 times... same thing here.. hundreds of 1on1 w different women.. 100+ threesomes overall.. id say 25ish girls total between the 3ways/4ways ..one situation my gf and i had a gf together for a little over a month...so multiple 3ways with that gf/gf pair.. rest of 300 are individual lays...
"Bi girl - why are you dating her? Sounds to me you guys dont actually click and youre just in it for the sex. If thats the case, its not surprising you dont care to engage her when things get heated." Yes. I basically enjoy 3somes with her but don't find her super fascinating outside of our sexual chemistry.
"The frames you should set dont involve ‘coercion’ or ‘look at how many bitches I can fuck, you disposable slut’. The strongest frames you can have are strong boundaries and the honesty willingness to walk away. And then do it. Anything else is ineffective." I feel like this is really good feedback because while I don't verbalize it i can see how I would give off the disposable slut frame to women.. because that's how Im starting to feel towards a lot of them ..I agree I should work on getting clear on my boundaries in my own head then I'll be able to walk away or not more effectively based on those actual boundaries .. my biggest sticking point with this is I let my boundaries slide to get more 3ways or compromise boundaries to gets lays initially ... I mean I dont give a fuck about the Kardashians but if we all stopped fucking girls who are into bullshit and celebrity drama we'd get rid of 90% of the pool.. so its like where's the line between an unavoidable annoyance and an actual boundary ?
"Still figuring this one out myself lol, but I think its true. Its just rarer." I'm finding it more and more rare as I get older and the women I date stay the same age lol ..especially as culture shifts
"And if you are dating someone, id avoid the whole ‘post pics w other girls things’. Even if you guys fuck other girls together, the girl still wants to feel like a human. If its an open relationship, you do your thing, but it shouldn’t be shoved in your partners face. Nobody likes that. Dont ask dont tell kinda thing." I feel this and should probably implement it .. but tbh it's one of the most effective ways to get girls off the fence for me... I've had fence sitters go from non compliance ...to asking to meet me asap ..when they see me with hot girls on my stories. .. I've even tested screenshotting convos of girls telling me how well I fucked them and sending it to other girls who I've yet to meet or fuck ..very polarizing but more effective than most people would think ..hard yes or hard nos
Anyway I especially find the "frames" distinction valuable... thanks for the feedback I feel like you're being really genuine and I appreciate that.