Have had plenty of first dates where I closed in the past. But just had my 3rd date this week in a row where I didn’t close. Confidence taking a bit of a beating wondering if I’m doing something wrong. One of the dates I honestly didn’t want to close because the vibe was off. But tonight, with the 3rd girl this week, we made out, I put her hand on my dick (didn’t take it out though). Touched her a lot. Almost had too good of a connection. She described all my qualities and looks when talking about what she likes in a guy. Many more positive vibes. We got very physical. Out of nowhere she said she said she to leave because she promised to meet a friend (it was almost 1am on Saturday). Don’t know if it’s a legitimate excuse. I also asked her “I’m having a great time with you.. but is there something on your mind? You seem a bit hesitant” like Alex says in a video you can say to a girl on the first date. She just said just said “No nothing on my mind”. I know it’s impossible for you guys to know without much context. But why do girls not sleep with you on the first date? The chances of all 3 my dates this week being on their period must be slim. So what more reasons are there? Is my game be too weak? Is it because they're bratty? Do they not want to be seen as sluts? Can they think you’re “too good” of a guy so they don’t want to “ruin it” by sleeping with you on the first date? Seriously. The amount I vibed with 2 of these 3 girls this week is actually unreal. Lots of playful teasing, ton of laughter, they showed so good body language, strong eye contact, getting physical, they’re complimenting me (either my qualities or my looks or something else) and everything is just so positive throughout thse two dates. They tell me how fun they had. And one of the girl has texted me super eagerly and soft closing me on a second date. I genuinely don’t get why sex haven’t happened this week? At least with 1 of these 2 chicks I’m talking about. I think I’m a socially calibrated guy and I don’t think I did anything wrong. It only makes sense that sex would've happened on these kinds of busy (in my mind at least). But maybe girls are different. Curious ot hear your thoughts on why girls don’t have sex on the first date.
57 Posts (+12), 282 Cmts (+81)
I think this might be due to how you're escalating. If you're going for sex too fast before proper foreplay this can happen. What's your escalation process and how long did you wait before making a move with these girls?
50 Posts (+39), 78 Cmts (+18)
I'm not aggressive in my escalation with girls at all. One of my weaknesses. I break the touch barrier as soon as I see them or within a few minutes when they're in my house. Just do whatever. Then when we sit at the couch I can sometimes talk for 1-2 hours without making any moves. But when I do it's usually by start touching their hand, checking out their nails or jewellery or whatever, start holding their hand, getting closer, put their leg up on me, playing with their hair, etc. Then I go for the kiss. Unless they start using tongue, I don't. After kissing, from here I'm very physical. Always have my hand on their legs or thigh, continue going for the kisses. If the girl doesn't initate a heavy make out session, I rarely get anywhere. Then sex never happens. I might put her hand on my dick, increase the sexaul tension with my eyes and what I say, but that's about it.
Btw I just had date #2 with one of these girls tonight. We watched a movie, had some wine. Kissed a lot (no make out). Very physical. Eventually she started to get annoyed, I could tell. I talked with her to find out what was going on. She didn't like how I kept tickling her and undoing her crop top a few times. She laughed every time I did this. But she didn't like how I couldn't take no for an answer. But eventually she got to annoyed. She also said we won't have sex. Said she doesn't sleep around and waits 4 or 5 dates before having sex. I thought that was hilarious because of the way she looks (not the skinniest girl lol). Told her we won't see each other after I leave tonight because I think it's a stupid mindset/rule to have. She didn't take it well, start saying how I'm manipulative and how she didn't want to see me after tonights date anyways lol. That's the update with one of the chicks. The other chicks is a super hot latina I def want to see again and close.
57 Posts (+12), 282 Cmts (+81)
2 hours is definitely too long to go without making any moves. If the girl is already at your house keep it under 1 hour. Alex has a good video about escalation on his youtube channel. Also I suggest escalating verbally before going for the kiss, imo this helps moving it towards sex.
With that date #2 girl I would have first taken off my shirt and then tried to take off her crop-top while kissing. If she would have stopped I would disengage completely from her (maybe even move away a bit) and then start checking my phone while mostly ignoring her. If this wouldn't pull her back to me after a few minutes I would then try to disqualify her from being my girlfriend. I usually do this by telling her about how she's too shy and boring while I'm too crazy for her. What usually happens is she will either qualify herself to you or she will agree. Either way after this you can try escalating again. It should be easier because she will now either be more afraid of you leaving her or just view you as a ONS.