Long story short, talked to some girl at the bar, we exchanged numbers, and we been sporadically texting 2-3 weeks trying to setup a date, but failing due to busy schedules. Last night, she texted me that she wants to meet me around midnight (booty call I assume) "Can't, I have other plans" I replied. (I really had plans) So today, we continued texting, she agreed that we meet in the next few days. Then while we were scheduling she suddenly out of nowhere threw me a "Actually, I'm not looking to meet anyone at the moment" curveball. This was the convo: Me: Let's meet in the next few days (voice memo) Her: Yes, Let's do it! Me: What's your schedule like? Her: Actually I don't want to meet up really, have some things in my head, I don't want to meet anyone at the moment. Whole thing spiraled out of control, and I couldn't get things back on track no matter what. Rest of convo is me trying to uncover what the real objection is and solve it. She was throwing me a bunch of fakes, one after another. After I thought I had it figured out I blew up the "....ending things here would be anticlimactic" nuke on an fake objection (it flopped ofc) As a last ditch effort I threw the "I feel you actually had a bad breakup recently" cold read and she started opening up again, saying that it was that what was actually troubling her. Is there a way to salvage this? How should I proceed? Thanks.

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12 Comments
12 Cmts
S

5 Posts (+12)

34 Cmts (+7)

S

5 Posts (+12), 34 Cmts (+7)

J

35 Posts (+2), 150 Cmts (+63)

I'm going through something similar with a chick I actually hooked up with. I personally would avoid any lines that refer to sex unless you've already talked about it. Sometimes it's good to take a step back. Saying something like "That sounds really difficult, how've you been feeling?" Showing empathy and getting her to open up to you emotionally can be very powerful. If you have been pressing too much then back off a bit, you want to give her space to meet you in the middle. You also need to be patient, maybe it doesn't happen right away, but maybe a month from now when her head is clear she'll think damn that guy was pretty cool I should hit him back up. Then bam you're right back in it

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S

5 Posts (+12), 34 Cmts (+7)

thanks for the tips. I was thinking something similar as well.

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J

35 Posts (+2), 150 Cmts (+63)

Sure thing bro. Another thing I would suggest is invite her out to a group activity. You said you met her at a bar so if you and your boys are doing some cool shit one weekend hit her with "hey me and some friends are hitting XYZ you and your girls should come". A good way to take off the pressure. GL

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