Something I’ve struggled with for the longest time is casually meeting up with girls as someone that doesn’t drink. About 7/10 girls I meet up with are most comfortable “getting drinks” or meeting at a bar. I’m totally comfortable meeting at these places and don’t mind others drinking around me, but I always feel like the girl is made slightly uncomfortable when they order a beer and I order a Diet Coke or water. I try to be confident about it, but their surprise reactions when I tell them I don’t drink get in my head a little, especially when they make comments like “well then why did we meet here?”Is this just something that’s in my head or is it awkward for me to meet at a bar when I don’t drink.
+1
12 Comments
12 Cmts
5y ago
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
no, i dont think its in your head, let me ask, why do you not drink? Do you have a severe allergy or are you an ex alcoholic. Jmov is a good source on this because hes been in AA for alcoholism for over a year. He says his game has not suffered. He just does different types of dates now
18 Posts (+12), 76 Cmts (+21)
I grew up LDS so I wasn't brought up in a drinking environment. I figure if I haven't started the habit then I should keep it that way, especially since I have an addictive personality. I'm also hypoglycemic and I've read alcohol cravings are heightened so it's not worth the risk to me.
Would you suggest I turn the activity towards something else then? I love the bar environment personally and it isn't usually an issue, but I have noticed some girls seem slightly uncomfortable when I don't drink at all. I try to make a joke of it but it doesn't always seem to work.
Who's Jmov? I tried looking him up but couldn't find anything
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
if that's the case, i really dont think having half a drink here there wouldn't hurt. only a small subset of people actually become addicted to alcohol. So i would highly recommend considering that. And yes, unfortunately a bar is going to be suboptimal for you if you do decide not to drink. One thing you can do is order a drink have a few sips. No girl is going to call you out on that. Another option is offering to cook for her or playing a board game of some kind that you both like. JMov is a dating coach you can find on youtube just search "John Anthony"