“Getting drinks” when you don’t drink alcohol
Something I’ve struggled with for the longest time is casually meeting up with girls as someone that doesn’t drink. About 7/10 girls I meet up with are most comfortable “getting drinks” or meeting at a bar. I’m totally comfortable meeting at these places and don’t mind others drinking around me, but I always feel like the girl is made slightly uncomfortable when they order a beer and I order a Diet Coke or water.
I try to be confident about it, but their surprise reactions when I tell them I don’t drink get in my head a little, especially when they make comments like “well then why did we meet here?”Is this just something that’s in my head or is it awkward for me to meet at a bar when I don’t drink.
“To get to know you”.... wtf else are you there for bitch. Lol if its just drinks i’d drink one at home with my dick out at home.
Don’t let it get to you, “coke and dining is the new thing” tell them or something to that effect. Don’t get all logical with them dude.
I like this mentality, but some girls do seem uncomfortable so it makes me question whether it's optimal to just choose a different environment. Most girls don't seem to care too much though.
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
no, i dont think its in your head, let me ask, why do you not drink? Do you have a severe allergy or are you an ex alcoholic. Jmov is a good source on this because hes been in AA for alcoholism for over a year. He says his game has not suffered. He just does different types of dates now
I grew up LDS so I wasn't brought up in a drinking environment. I figure if I haven't started the habit then I should keep it that way, especially since I have an addictive personality. I'm also hypoglycemic and I've read alcohol cravings are heightened so it's not worth the risk to me.
Would you suggest I turn the activity towards something else then? I love the bar environment personally and it isn't usually an issue, but I have noticed some girls seem slightly uncomfortable when I don't drink at all. I try to make a joke of it but it doesn't always seem to work.
Who's Jmov? I tried looking him up but couldn't find anything
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
if that's the case, i really dont think having half a drink here there wouldn't hurt. only a small subset of people actually become addicted to alcohol. So i would highly recommend considering that. And yes, unfortunately a bar is going to be suboptimal for you if you do decide not to drink. One thing you can do is order a drink have a few sips. No girl is going to call you out on that. Another option is offering to cook for her or playing a board game of some kind that you both like. JMov is a dating coach you can find on youtube just search "John Anthony"
Be up front about you not drinking. Or get coffee. It gives off a weird vibe when she is drinking and you're stone sober, especially the first time meeting.
why dont you drink? its a huge comfort builder for a girl
0 Posts (+0), 4 Cmts (+2)
I feel your pain bro. It shouldn’t matter but the reality is that it can set dates off on an awkward footing. A few suggestions.
Find a bar that serves non alcoholic beer - it looks the same, tastes the same, and a lot of the 0% branding these days is pretty subtle. If it isn’t, have it poured into a glass. Another option is ordering a tonic with a wedge of lime. Mocktails are worth considering but often have suspect names and even worse colours/garnish.
For any of this to work you need to sit somewhere away from where you order and pick up the drinks tab all night. A small price to pay if the date’s worth it. Hope it works out.
18 Posts (+12), 76 Cmts (+21)
I really appreciate the comment. Seems to be the consensus that I should switch up where I’m spending time with girls. I’ll look into non alcoholic beers for places I’ve even going to as well