So screenshots are there (they should be in chronological order) and provided translations where necessary. Some context :
- she's 23, law student and participating in pageants
- We apparently matched before in Sept 2018 (or maybe just followed her and slid in her DMs, not sure anymore since it looks like there are parts where I unsent messages). I didn't post our previous/2018 messages anymore to avoid clutter and don't think material, but if you need it for context let me know
- in the third screenshot, after I asked her number (back in 2018) she gave it, I remember seeing her number there yesterday I'm sure. So she unsent it. Just don't know if she unsent it only recently, or right after we started chatting yesterday
- typo in my translation on the last screenshot, it should be you're so *active in dating
- When we started messaging on IG, we were going back and forth fairly rapidly. The whole convo was from 2-6pm, until my softclose which she left on Seen for like 4/5 hours
- She finally replied "Yes" around 10pm,
- so when i woke the next morning close to 10am, i sent the last message (asking for her schedule), which she's left again on Seen for 9 hours and counting
So questions :
- What to do/reply next ?
- Am I justified in sending that reply tomorrow already, or is that just my innate desperation speaking and stick to 2-3 days ?
My proposed replies (but let me know if you guys think of something better) :
- Don't think too hard now
- Don't worry, it's not a trick question
- Did I make you shy/If you're too shy, I totally understand
- If you're unsure, we can hop on a phone call first for like 3-5mins to do a vibe check
Thanks and I apologise for the overthink. Normally after consuming so much PWF, I already know what to do next (i.e. wait 2-3 days, takeaway, etc) but maybe cos she's a personal 8/9 I really wanna get advice on here. But I'm aware that as a a pageant contestant she surely gets lots of attention (5k followers on IG)
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59 Posts (+11), 91 Cmts (+12)
Just updating. So I know made some mistakes/lost my cool on some parts with the “rehearsed” accusation, but this was happening back and forth for me to realise it was a shit test
Thinking of :
- “well, I tried”
- “do they teach law students now to be unresponsive to questions ?”
- “aren’t law students supposed to be clear and direct in communicating ?”
- “waiting on this :)”, while quoting/replying to her line “I’ll respond”
- “what’s holding you back ?”
- “ honest question to you, is there a reason you’re being extremely difficult to communicate & make plans with ?”
- any other ideas. And should i still wait 2-3 days ?
Anyway lmk what you guys think. Im ok to take an L too if shes just really a timewaster. Tbh it’s really exasperating talking to her, i know she gets tons of other DMs but you’d think a law student would at least be more direct with their responses
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12 Posts (+8), 84 Cmts (+36)
A lot of your messages where you re-engage come across extremely bitter. You have to try to be more grounded and not take her too serious. This can be a very hard task and definitely takes work, but that’s a pattern I’m seeing in your text game.
Literally all your messages are serious. No humor, no flirting, just pushing for the date. Pushing for a date is not a bad thing on its own but you should balance it out with some humor.
For example in the 5th photo after she says it feels rehearsed I would’ve said something like: Yup, took this straight from my poetry rehearsal of last night.
Goodluck out there brotha
8 Posts (+10), 580 Cmts (+268)
Agree with Tom here for the most part. While it may seem like this girl is a time-waster, you need to show restraint and patience. If you seriously want to try and meet up with her, don’t keep pushing and pushing and pushing.
It seems like you’re trying the same thing over and over again without changing your approach, which is fine when it comes to being persistent but you need to like Tom said, balance the pushing for a date with some humor, more importantly, some banter to get the girl attracted to you. Logic will only get you so far and even though you’ve been trying to make plans with her, it’s clear she’s not attracted enough to make solid plans. To be fair, it may be true that she will never be that and she’s wasting your time but with the amount of investment she’s showing you, I think it’s more likely that she’s interested but not fully convinced.
When you banter with her and then try to make plans again vs. just trying to make plans over and over again you have a better shot. I’ll give you a real world example; going in for the kiss. When you go in for the kiss and she rejects you, you don’t keep trying and trying and trying to kiss her. You move on, recognize that she’s not comfortable yet, and continue bantering and building comfort before escalating again. You also don’t try and logic your way into it (ie: “oh but we sexted over the phone why can’t you kiss me rn” type shit) either.
I'll say though I've experienced this with a lot of girls in the past (the whole ignoring a lot of what you say, being difficult to make plans with, and so on) and the best way I've found to deal with this is the following: not responding or continuing their conversation and guiding it back to the meetup.
For the first one, it's all about the idea of rewarding good behavior. Now, I don't mean like some sort of animal but I mean don't show her interest if she doesn't respond to your texts if she ignores you or your attempt to make plans, ignore when she slides up on your story a couple of times. Don't give her attention if she's just ignoring your texts to try and make plans with her.
The second one is a little bit more time-consuming and requires a fair amount of patience. It comes down to enertaining her comments/texts (ie: "why do you always like that angle?" -> "why? are you jealous of my thick thighs?") entertain it but fuck with her a little. Don't just back down and let her continue the conversation. Then, slowly guide it back to you and her hanging out.
The problem is you take it to an extreme and you combine the two, ignoring what she said but also responding with your own text about how you want to meet her and make plans with her. That type of callout used like that is not going to work very often with these types of girls.
Sorry if this was long and a little harsh, hope it helps
59 Posts (+11), 91 Cmts (+12)
Thanks Tom and Sam.
No you guys are right and not harsh at all, when I posted these and reread my messages I realised that I did sound pushy and I guess I needed to hear it from other people
That’s worked so well whenever I applied it with other girls (i.e. always balance with humour, no need to logic and plan all the time) and I guess I lost patience with this particular girl cos, well, she was really hot haha i let it get to me
Good analogy with the real-world example/kissing and i hope to keep that in my head from now on
But moving forward. Should I still try and reopen in a few days ? Or just move on
8 Posts (+10), 580 Cmts (+268)
Ok a couple things here:
The “took you while” sounds needy and you shouldn’t normally address a girl leaving you on seen for a couple hours unless it’s an extended period of time. People get busy, they do other shit, they forget etc. no need to really “call it out” as it comes across a little desperate
You’re right haha you’re over thinking this. 2-3 days and a takeaway, that’s that. Either “Don’t think too hard now” or “Damn don’t get shy on me _____” or any number of other ones as long as you haven’t used them before.
I might look to number close and get this off insta. Like you said, she probably has a fair amount of suitors trying to text her etc. on insta, my guess is less so over whatsapp or imessage.
Funny that you guys matched back in 2018 tho. Anyway, goodluck bro
59 Posts (+11), 91 Cmts (+12)
Hey bro, thanks for helping as always
Knew it haha damn. In my head I thought it was justified by the context (i.e. quick back and forth, then suddenly left me on Seen for hours before replying Yes)
Got it. Thanks just need a reminder from time to time that no matter how hot a girl is, nothing’s changed in terms of good game
Yep, was actually planning to give her a call somewhere down the line to build comfort