This was from a very short in-person interaction, at party, there was definitely a sexual element to it at the time.
In before "Stop the game-y stuff" regarding "you might be a kidnapper", yup it slipped my mind at the time.
My question is regarding, after she seemed pretty antsy to find out what my "r rated" relaxation techniques are, why did it feel like it dropped flat right after. Could be that she was just expecting "more" but I played it a bit safe, or maybe the entire pacing is off.
She lives pretty far out so I'm not that keen to meet up but good practice anyway.
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393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
The main issue, is that your textgame sounds extremely "nice guy". Like you're trying way too hard to make sure she likes you, which ironically makes her like you less. For instance, you said "epic" to literally every retarded thing that she said that she was doing. That really comes off as supplicating to chicks, because they know that what they're doing is not actually epic. It's like when a salesman tries to give you a really fake compliment. Just feels wrong. Another example, is when she said that think about licking. You sort of attempted to sexualize and then changed the topic by double texting literally one minute later. Again, very nice guy behavior. A much better response would have been. "Well, I do enjoy a good licking every now and then" and then letting it sit, and wait for her to respond.
Even, your second message was very nice guy-ish. She replied to your name with "Dude". I would have just responded with "Yes?", basically calling her out on her lame greeting. Also, another big thing that stood out was when you tried to go for the wine close. You literally butchered that sequence (no offense man). After she said "Where at?" All you needed to say was "My romantic patio". That's it, either she agrees or disagrees, but you don't create an objection before she does. The issue now is that she has very likely categorized you as a "nice guy" and you are trying to sexualize. Typically, girls don't respond well to men who they think are "nice guys" when they try to sexualize. It's important for you to completely break out of this frame first.
"It's okay, we'll just drink wine and watch Scooby Doo"
4 Posts (+5), 21 Cmts (+8)
None taken, honest feedback is what I need.
"Epic" is like my knee-jerk response because I feel I "need" to acknowledge something they said. Will aim to cut it out. Should I be cutting out even "Cool"s, "Ah okay"s, "Interesting" because I do those as well.
So I didn't say romantic patio because I can't pull to my place at the moment. How would you change the sequence in that case, "Your romantic patio"? If I recall correctly, one of your videos mentioned you don't want to make too many assumptions about her living situation.
And, does it still apply as double-texting if you're simply breaking up two separates responses? Does that mean you should essentially only ever respond to one thing even if there are multiple points to potentially respond to in their texts?
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
I think you're losing sight of the main picture man, the main issue isn't a specific word here and there, it's the overall extreme "nice guy" vibe. Adding "Ah okay" or "Interesting" is totally fine. It's also totally fine to break up a text into 2 and answer more than one question
Not being able to pull to your place, definitely poses a big issue. Personally, my approach in that situation is to go very sexual over text, get her sold on the idea of this being a fuck date and then ask if her place is an option. Just out of curiosity, why exactly can't you pull to your place?
16 Posts (+66), 242 Cmts (+331)
FIrstly you gave in to going to her place/side way too easily.