Where did I go wrong here? Full convo attached
First she says she wants to see if we “click” but then she changed her mind after I said I need chemistry and that she is possibly only looking for a ONS with “I don’t think it’s gonna work out but hopefully something else does” meaning getting fucked, right? because shes actually only here on vacation, so I said that’s a relief because I’m only looking for something casual (when i say casual she should know that it means nothing serious and a ONS, right?) and not a relationship but when I went for the soft close/plan for us to meet up I didn’t continue with telling her my plan or hard closing since she said no she doesn’t drink wine.
Also what do you think of when she disqualifies herself on not being able to do a hike. Then I said she can make up for it with her personality, then she implies she doesnt have a good personality. Then I said “How humble of you!” And she said “No I’m not humble”? Jeez like everything she said is just DLV DLV herself. Why do you think she won’t qualify here? Is it my lack of perceived value in her eyes? I guess this is one of those girls I would say is a “time waster” but I don’t want to believe that. I believe every girl can be converted, and the reason I am posting this particular interaction is because I was getting a strong vibe that she wants to get dicked down with no strings attached by her messages, which is what I’m looking for too. I should have just said that I will eat her pussy instead and then see how she responded to that. I think I am playing it too safe.
Another thing I think I did wrong was say I am looking for chemistry. Because she interpreted that as “Oh, he’s looking for his perfect girl with chemistry for a relationship, that’s not me.” instead I could have worded it differently to make her see that I am ok with a fling if she’s down. We don’t need chemistry. We just like what we see and want to fuck while on vacation right? I’m sure the reason she acts like this is because she’s probably talked to other guys who are trying to do the text buddy/long distance relationship frames with her. What could I have done differently?
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393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
I honestly think you came off a little too “nice guy”. While the banter is good, there really is no tension, teasing, or really any flirting of any kind. The vibe I got here is that of a nice guy just saying anything to get a chick out. And I think that is probably what she sensed too.
Let me give a few specific examples throughout the convo
When she said “that almost makes me feel more pressure :o”
I wouldn’t have taken her too seriously. Would have just responded with “A little pressure is good for the soul”
When she said “bc if you have no expectations....”
I would have said “interesting. Or you can just stop over thinking it and we can see what happens. It’s Hawaii...”
When she said “I want to see if we click or not”
Your response her was pretty bad. There was zero need to try to justify yourself or talk about how you don’t touch a girl if there’s no chemistry and what not. I literally would have just said “only one way to find out”
When she said “ah I see. Well I guess since I’m leaving soon. Blah blah”
I would have just responded with “did your fortunate ball tell you that?”
You get the picture. Hopefully this helps man
2 Posts (+0), 6 Cmts (+0)
Definitely helps me, I've got the same problem.
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
Glad to hear man, this is a common issue. Easily fixable