What do you do if you fail to sexualize on the date?
So I met this chick on first date. Made the grave mistake of getting there late by 1 hr (due to some personal work) sje was visibky angry and reluctant for a hug, our plan for attending a light show failed so we went to an Irish pub and talked a lot. She was mirroring my body language and we were standing quite close in subway train, good eye contact, she was interested in convos too. She mentioned she had gone on a date every week, and was still looking for something serious, she did mention she was type A person, and I couldnt flirt much with het and I wasnt sure if I could kiss or sexualize at end of date, so just gave her a hug, kiss on cheek and we parted ways on subway.
Here's the text that followed. I tried sexualizing as a hail mary attempt. She hasnt replied back since yesterday, what should I do?
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393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
She just seems truly not turned on by you. If she was reluctant to hug, that's a big sign that there's not attraction/value
23 Posts (+4), 187 Cmts (+71)
You're falling into the trap Alex mentions in the video I'll link at the end of this comment. But the trap is trying to sexualize after the fact the date was platonic. I read your post (spelling errors and all) and you need to move on from this girl as it's already over. Plenty more girls for you to show up on time for (btw I hope you text your dates if you're running late BUT 1 hour is far too long, the MAX is 30 minutes late. Personally, I've never had a date go well that I was more than 15 minutes late for), and even more, that will be open to a hug and a kiss on the cheek when you meet them. Another mistake is you're still in the mindset of kissing at the end of the date (a trope in movies/shows), instead, you should be going for the kiss far earlier. I'm still working on this myself but what I do roughly is if the date is going well, about 30-45 minutes in I'm already in good proximity with her, strong eye contact, and I start making some "intent" statements like "I like (something she said that you genuinely filter for) about you", I'm glad we decided to meet up today or something and if she's agreeable to statements like those I go in for the kiss, which usually works but if not I play it off and say "I like the confidence going for the kiss but I'm not that easy" with a smirk and try again later on. Hard for me to describe, but being on the actual date you'll feel the highs and lows and I look to capitalize on those highs with the sexualizing and/or kissing, but also it's not like I'm counting the moments to kiss her, it's more of as this feels kinda like a great moment with this person and even though my heart is beating fast I'm gonna go for it and kiss her now, and even if she rejects me I know they're more moments, no biggie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gATOcJ36KTk
I saw the video. But I think Alex did sexualize a bit by bringing up lotion. I think I'll wait for a while and text her "Unless the American Council of Doctors (she's in med school) recommend against conservative treatment" or something like that. If she replies, great! If not, we move on
32 Posts (+21), 576 Cmts (+276)
give it time but
"If you're into that sorta thing"
23 Posts (+4), 187 Cmts (+71)
To build on what chaz has said, give it at least 48 hours
35 Posts (+7), 51 Cmts (+6)
Ok something interesting happened, on the date we had ran into this professional cricketer from the Carribean (the girl is from Carribean too, tho not the same country). We had a bit of a chat, and my date and the guy kinda talked about being from Carribean. The guy was with his wife at that time, but my gut instinct just said he was into her. Later in the pub, I jokingly told the girl that the guy was into her and she said "Nah, its not like that"
Funnily enough today the guy created a group chat with both of us on Insta and invited us to a "secret" 6 story mansion in Manhattan for Halloween. The girl replied to the invitation that she's interested (though she still hasnt replied to my text, I texted her as @chaz ) suggested). My train of thoughts are kind of running in two ways:
Honestly, I am not very social guy and as you can see I am insecure about this party where I can come off as an "outsider" and being just a broke college student it maybe expensive though I CAN dress nicely enough . At this point, I am not attached to the girl, but yes it does hurt ego to have your girl taken away. She still hasn't replied to my text. How should I handle this situation?
@avilench . @Edward Webb Any help would be appreciated!
35 Posts (+7), 51 Cmts (+6)
Yeah that's what I am thinking