I've been dating this girl for 6 months. Met her entire family, went on vacation, had passionate sex countless times.
We broke up as soon as she came to the college I'm at for the semester. My guess is a mix between having so many options and stress because we had been fighting. I had gotten a random testicular infection after being faithful and made the mistake of pressing her about it. I asked if she'd cheated.
She was already a very stressed girl, on anti depression medicine. This caused her to cry a lot. She also told me that her and her mom 'had a talk about how I care too much about money at an early age'. And she was angry with me because I've been focusing on my business and not going out to parties with her. I think she genuinely cared for me because she was in tears when talking about it, and I'd been deeply, deeply intimate with her for months. But anyway, here's some of the things she said in the breakup text
'now just isn't the right time for us'
'ever since my mom and I talked things haven't felt the same'
'I feel like you can find someone better'
'I want to be with you but I just don't think it's going to work '
These all seem like basic 'let him down easy' texts, but I'm confused because we were together for months, I genuinely was working on my business and being productive like a man should, and I wasn't a pushover that did whatever she wanted.
My guess is that when she got back to campus she was stressed out because of the drama, didn't want to communicate to reach an agreement, and was surrounded by options.
What should I have done? Should I have set aside my purpose to go get drunk at parties with her? Or was this an unavoidable conflict of interest given the drama and differences in our priorities. I tried to talk her through it like an adult and say that we need to both express our needs and listen to better understand each other but she didn't listen. Just dumped me. She also never once said anything like 'my needs aren't being met' until it was too late
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
"Sounds good. I've been feeling the same actually. Good luck with everything :)". I think it's possible she might have actually met someone in college. long distance is indeed tough. So, i'd not be hard on myself. Or over read into this. Show her how easy it is for you to walk away. You're better off coming across as a guy who is readily willing to let her go than desperately trying to make something that's not going to work, work
0 Posts (+0), 148 Cmts (-58)
I wouldnt be with someone who cries all day and goes to parties. I guess she is young and emotionally unstable. When she told you those statements through text, you should have asked her why she thinks that and try to reframe it.
5 Posts (+1), 73 Cmts (+94)
Dont start going out drinking because of her. Focus on ur business and ur own improvment
Nowdays young people break up all the time after a few months for countless dumb reasons
My guess is that lately she wasnt happy because of the fighting + because you focus more on making money instead of going out drinking with her. Then her mom, seeing her daughter is unhappy, basically convinced her this isnt going to work. She honestly seems too immature for you + mentally unstable. Move on, focus on you and avoid girls like her in the future. I know its hard right now but by the time you'll be 26-28, u will say to yourself "thank god i didnt waste any more time with that anti depression meds party chick"