(I edited this for better clarity and more purpose)
Just had a tinder date at this sexy 32 year old milfs house. The date started out well with lots of sexual tension.
About an hour or so in, I said "I don't really like one night stands, the sex usually isn't that great". She gave me a smirk and disagreed, that sometimes she's had great one night stand sex. This threw me off completely and I think it all went downhill from there.
I believe her sexual confidence intimidated me and exposed my sexual insecurities - this girl knew what she wanted.
There was lots of touching and then a brief makeout. I pulled back on the first makeout like I always do to build up tension and she came in for another small kiss.
Another 30 min to an hour went by and I went in again and this time she seemed closed off, her lips didn't even open. I gave up after that. It never escalated from there and the sexual tension died off.
I admit, she was extremely fun to talk to about a wide range of topics so I got carried away in the conversation (this never happens to me). I stayed at her place semi cuddling and talking with her from 8pm - 1:30am.
I never made it about us and didn’t turn her on verbally.
Yes, I understand this is likely done, however, should I sexually DHV over text - get her aroused - pitch massage, talk about what i’ll do to her and perhaps she'd be down for another meet?
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
Yea man, unfortunately you ducked up here. Not sure why you brought up that you don’t like One night Stands when that’s likely what she wanted. But mainly, it just sounds like you took way too long to make a move and didn’t escalate so she got turned off. This kinda stuff should not take hours. At this point, I’d just learn the lesson here and move on. I don’t think you’re going to get a second date
8 Posts (+6), 45 Cmts (+6)
Good perspective. Do you have any recommendations as to how I can feel more sexually secure? I have your product so I will read those books you mentioned.
Also, is it a bad idea to follow up with her? I’m assuming it does more damage to myself psychologically vs moving on?
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
How old are you? if you're a lot younger, then maybe she understands and reaching out in the right way could help.
But if you are older than her and couldn't pull the trigger, its probably going to be more unlikely that she will be enthusiastic about trying it again. Assuming she wanted to get laid which if she was really doing sexual talk/tension then clearly she was imo
Like image a girl blue balling you, not saying thats what you did, but
34 Posts (+1), 203 Cmts (+77)
Why not try a day 2 and try to close this time? It’s a 10 second text and you have no downside risk whatsoever
8 Posts (+6), 45 Cmts (+6)
Well it's an option, at the moment I feel slightly demoralized and almost embarrassed to be honest.
I reflected more and I believe I was sexually intimidated by her (my sex game is clearly not up to par). About an hour or so in, I said "I don't really like one night stands, the sex usually isn't that great".
She gave me a smirk and disagreed, that sometimes she's had great one night stand sex. This threw me off completely and I think it all went downhill from there.
When would you reach out again?
34 Posts (+1), 203 Cmts (+77)
It happens. Usually good to followup within a few days for a d2