Stalemate problem with all my dates and matches, solutions?
Tried practising "ball is in her court" approach and it is working out terribly so far.
Some examples (rough translations):
1.girl Tried to arrange second date with a girl I saw once (I reached out after a week, no extra texting), a bit of banter and she said:
"about meeting this week idk, maybe sunday"
Since most "puas" said we don't accept "maybes" I replied
"Sunday we can on 18:00. However, if youre not sure you can make it we can do it another time when your schedule is more clear. Let me know ;)"
"Another evening would suit better, because I had planned to see my girlfriends that day and won't be free so soon"
I replied: "Sacred thing, and sure, we can do it another time. If anything changes, let me know"
GHOSTED FOREVER
2.girl Reached out 4 days after first date with "Hey, I hope you didn't get cold in the end" (we got in heavy rain)
"No, all good, my immunity saved me :)"
Then I sent voice note saying: "Well, it was nice meeting you and we should definitely meet again. Check your schedule, let me know when you're free and we'll make something happen"
She gave it a heart like and never heard from her again.
3.girl this girl we met on Saturday and then she hit me up on Sunday because she was in town and I thought she wants to have sex, so I met her on Sunday, too, got her over to my house, but she had to leave for her city soon after and we only got to have coffee and flirt a bit. Everything moved quite fast.
Messaged her about 3-4 days later.
"Hey, how is my favorite equestrian doin"
"Good"
Voice message from me: "That's quite eloquent"
her: "Have nothing to say :D"
me: "Understandable, when I'm not around, nothing fun happens"
her: "yeah yeah yeah :D"
me: "It was cool together... send me days when you plan to be in city and we will meet again"
[left on read]
4.girl. This one is from Tinder, but same issue.
Me: "Hey, what does it look like, on which days its better for you? I can only do evenings."
Her: "I won't be able to say now, very messy, not enough time"
Me: "No problem. Send me days which you can do on second half of the week, I'll check with my schedule and we'll make it happen"
[left on read indefinitely]
5.girl. Tinder girl
[I initiated after she showed more interst because I stopped messaging as often]
...
Me: "What's your schedule like this weekend"
Her: "Maybe I will have some free time on sunday ;)"
Me: "Sunday evening is good. If you aren't sure if you can make it we can do it another time. If you can definitely do Sunday, then let's meet at 18:00. Let me know ;)"
I've slept with over 10 women in my lifetime and I'm not completely clueless. I can get dates pretty easily, but usually I get very bad response (ghosting, disinterest) after first date. I have no idea why, I tried correcting for errors, I've also gotten some women to do ONS with me. What I did wrong previously was contacting the girls too soon (that same evening) or trying to organize the next date on the first one (removing mystery). When you "leave ball in her court" it just remains there indefinitely. Before when I double-texted at times or was more persistant, I at least got more dates and sometimes more sex from this. So what's the problem and how to correct this?
I also try to contact in evenings and don't respond immediately.
I feel like these women are all burned, since it's been a week and they all left me on read.
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What ways are there to send non-needy text (double texting) to reengage?
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What ways are there to modify my approach for future to increase odds of successful conversion?
EDIT: These aren't all cases. There are more, I am just too tired to write them all out, but they all go pretty much like this.
EDIT2: "Just ditch them bro, not worth it", nah, I disagree. My goal is to maximise girl intake and if she is a "maybe" or "meh" girl I want to convert her to "yes" girl. Sleeping only with "yes" girls is not a marker of high skill, it's easy. Converting "meh" girls is hard, so I want to master it and need your help guys. Reengagement worked for me in the past.
Girl age range: 18-24
My age: 26, 6feet, very fit, been told I'm "handsome" and "hot" by girls in my target range.
Location: Tallin
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
Well. the issue is you are leaving too much lead for the girl to take. you need to focus on building investment and value and then soft close the right way. I would watch the video on "how to get a girl invested over text", how to be a sexual authority and also how to get a date on the Youtube channel
0 Posts (+0), 6 Cmts (+4)
Bob, it seems like you've already identified the issue in your first sentence, leaving the ball in the girl's court, so the correct alternative would be to be to lead the conversation to date #2 and so on by being more direct, smooth, and calibrated. Please take "let me know" or anything of the sort out of your vocabulary. Even though you've met em once and had a great time, girls are forgetful or are actually busy so time gets away from them. They also don't want to be the ones leading all the meetups regardless of how much they like you. Yeah, there's some that do, but they're in the minority so you have to take initiative.
With girl #1 when she mentioned "maybe Sunday," you did well not jumping on that and pulled back letting her know you rather a more certain day. After her response, a simple reply like "what evenings work best for you this week?" would keep the convo going and provide you with more details to set better logistics for the date.... "Let me knows" sets your own self up to double text which is def not ideal. Maybe a simple "how are you/how you been" or a more personal question can reengage her
With girl #2, I personally hit a girl up 2-3 days after we hung out and try to set up plans. The more times I see a chick in a short time period the higher the retention, which makes the next date that much easier to set up and solidifies her in your rotation. This girl responds a bit more flirty and casual with the immunity line so you could be smooth here and reply something like "that's good but i don't think your immunity will save you from me ;)." No need to overdo it with a voice note basically ending the convo after one text. A decent double text could go like "how's the the girl with the best immune system doing"
With girl #3, everything was good until again you said "It was cool together... send me days when you plan to be in city and we will meet again." Instead of saying this, ask her when is she gonna be back, which can give you better details for arranging something. She hit you up a day after meeting, so she obviously interested (and a girl in the minority I mentioned earlier that lead) so use that as an opportunity to get the 2nd date. Your job is to just keep the convo going till you get logistics for that next date. Seems like she doesn't live in your city so idk if you can reengage
Girl #4, She mentioned she didn't know her schedule and you told her to let you know her schedule which tbh is probably why you got left on read. This one may be dead. A better response would have been, "when do you think you'd know" or go more in depth asking her if she works, is in school etc.
Girl #5. Almost an identical scenario to Girl #1, ask for a more certain day
Seems like you get a lot of good leads so it's all about keeping the convo until you get your desired outcome which is logistics
1 Post (+0), 1 Cmt (+0)
wow, I asked the same question on a lot of forums and your response is BEST so far. Thank you! PwF does seem to have the best texting advice in the space. Other forums just keep regurgitating "oh, they weren't that interested, NEXT" or give something vague like "bEcOmE HiGhEr ValUeE mAn BrO!!", finally refreshing to see specific, focused advice on how to improve texts and odds for date with explanations.