Should I have just met her at the bar and tried to pull?
16 Posts (+10), 56 Cmts (+17)
I'm not the type to go to bars and drink, I've been trying to work on getting girls to come straight to my place. My usual routine for dates is always meeting for some coffee/tea or ramen at the shopping center down the street (walking distance to mine) to see what the vibe is like, seed the pull and if we're into each other I'll lead her back to my place but if the vibe is not there we end up using a FTC because we feel we're not into each other and usually say "i gotta meet my friends later" just so we have an out to end the date and go on our own way... Lately I've been really trying to use Tinder and work on just bringing girls straight to my place from Tinder. Not actually going out on food dates like I have been doing.
This girl seemed down to meet me she even said she would try to make me love her "in other ways" so I figured she was DTF, however, she didn't seem ok with coming straight to my place so I recommended the shopping center next to mine, but then she recommended going to a bar later in the night, which turned me off a bit. Because logistics would not be in my favor and would be harder to pull unless she's really DTF. So if we were gonna meet I really wanted her to just come over to my place, so I asked "if we have chemistry when we meet are you ok with having a glass of wine at my new condo" if she was down, I would have met her at the bar... but the fact she said "Probably not" turned me off a bit, and it kinda killed the vibe and made me feel like I didn't want to waste my time going out to the bar to meet her.
Should I have just met her at the bar anyways and tried to pull after an hour and if she wasn't down or kept giving me resistance to going back to my condo, then how would I end the date? Just tell her "Well I gotta meet some friends later so I gotta go" and leave the date like this? Could I have done anything better with the text to have got her to come straight to my place?
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393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
LOL while it does make me feel good to see so many of my lines being used in one convo, you have to start using them correctly and in the proper context. She was down to meet at that place you suggested. You could have done a quick public date and then tried to pull. Instead, you backtracked which led her to suggest the bar. At that point, you could have still picked a bar that was closer to your place and I am sure it would have been fine. But then you completely lost her with the spamming of the lines without context. For instance, you keep saying " hope you don't mind taking it slow" which comes off really obvious as reverse psychology.
Also, in terms of getting out of dates that you don't feel are going well. You don't need an excuse. Just tell the chick that you're not feeling it. It's that simple.
13 Posts (+9), 79 Cmts (+26)
what would you have replied after she said no need for a romantic one? I feel like his place could still be an option and if she insists it can go public somewhere close? Like "Ok, no candles for Mary."
Then she maybe comes out with her objections
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
Yea, I generally agree. After she said "No need for romantic one" , I would have responded with "Fine, I will turn down the romance :) ". She would not probably meet at his place, but I am sure she would be down to meet somewhere close by .
19 Posts (+84), 522 Cmts (+198)
Make sure you never mention Low value traits. You're a grown man. 2 drinks on night shouldn't be a bother. She will latch on to that weakness.
I know we, here at pwf emphasize fuck dates, but you should definitely do a lot of dates to understand women better and learn how to handle objections
If you don't have to do a lot of work in person during the fuck dates, you won't learn a lot other than sex game
16 Posts (+10), 56 Cmts (+17)
UPDATE
We've been texting about logistics and trying to meet for 2 weeks now, we still haven't met because our schedules are always conflicted. Either she is meeting with friends or I am meeting with friends or working. The only way we could meet is if she comes straight over to my condo after she finishes work. She told me earlier that even if we meet at the bar and have good chemistry, she's not coming to my condo. So this time I want her to come over using homemade cooking as plausible deniability. I also disqualified sex and prize frame her and said she can't make a move on me. So now should I just focus on setting up a date for her to meet me at my condo? She was the one who asked me today for coffee on Saturday morning, but I'm working on Saturday morning and I'll be free in the evening, so I threw out Sunday morning and she said she's going going on a trip on Sunday! I want her to come on Saturday night but I might get an objections about her having to wake up early for her trip on Sunday. What should I say from here after my last text? Just trying to think 5 steps ahead from here..
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