Hey guys, so gonna call on the PWF community for a bit of advice with this one...
This is one of my better text exchanges (for better or worse). Sure, I think looking back it's maybe a little too gamey and there could have been different decisions made in parts of this but fundamentally this is a decent looking chick and she's showing decent compliance for a good 85% of this...
That said, it was close but no cigar...yet. Hence the problem. I can't decide based on where we're at right now whether to re-engage in a few days in some way, shape or form or whether just to leave it at that as her last message was a bit of a "fuck you"...maybe you'll disagree but that's definitely how it read at the time particularly with those damn full-stops!
Just to say also, if I was critiquing myself - as I said before, a bit over gamey + wish I hadn't entertained the whole Valentines shite + last few texts were a bit suboptimal.
But yeah, so a few questions:
- Should I re-engage (like 3 days after the last text) or just leave it?
- If yes, re-engage - what is the re-engagement? Further takeaway or simply restarting the convo (I'd say latter)
- How do I re-establish compliance?
Cheers guys!
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393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
i think its likely done, the last few texts really sealed your fate. On top of coming off as gamey you also appeared bitter and passive aggressive. Ofcourse you cant hurt to try again, you have nothing to lose. Try something like "shall we give this one more try"
5 Posts (+1), 8 Cmts (+1)
Alex, thanks very much for the text suggestion...it done the trick and the response was decent - if shit-testy - too. Your text suggestion was perfect tho and defo not what I was gonna go with (was probably gonna go with "Yo sexy") so nice one man, appreciate it.
For what it's worth though, you're definitely correct about coming off as gamey, bitter and passive aggressive which wasn't my intention at all because I was a bit irked but it wasn't that big a deal to me...I just didn't want her to start thinking it was anything other than a fuck date/reward non-compliance following the flake when she was like "what happened to the wine and dine" and I think I just plain misunderstood her last text. Also, if I had to use an emoji when I said "cool story bro" - a laughing one would have been better as the eyebrow one made it seem...a bit salty, when it was supposed to be a "pffft so you are" sorta vibe. But you live and learn and thankfully I seem to have gotten away with it this time.
Anyway, now focusing on building a bit of comfort seeing as its my perceived value that's compelled her to respond this time. I'll do that for the next few messages, soft close, probs hard close then number close. Hopefully it works out.
Thanks again !
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you just said you don't want to reward non-compliance and then you text her "haven't been able to think of anything else ..." when she asked if you were thinking of her. That's a simp move in my opinion my guy. If she sends you something like that again looking for validation then just give her something more middle ground like. "Well I've been busy but you crossed my mind for a moment earlier and I wanted to give our romance one last shot" or something like that.
She's a feisty one but I don't think you're out of the race yet. There was way too much back and forth and I think you should've tried to number close earlier in the convo. She seemed pretty compliant despite the gamey and long texts but I think she'll lose interest (if she hasn't already) if you don't soft close an actual date soon. Your style of texting is way different than mine so I don't really have a concrete suggestion on what to say but I think you should re-engage in a few days, restart the convo, soft close, number close, then plan the date through text.
5 Posts (+1), 8 Cmts (+1)
Agreed on the number thing and there were a few opportunities to do it, but in the moment I was trying to think about the war rather than the battle so it was always going to be the next text after the one I actually sent.
But okay, that's a vote for re-engage. I think simply wait a few days then literally restart the conversation with a standard opener or a meme. Not sure a call out really works here, the best one would probably be "Are you always this difficult to make plans with?" but that arguably should have been the last text! I'm realising that last text blew...hard and is possibly doubly-bad as the way I said it with the " :( " made it look like I was actually sad. Anyway, I've only made life difficult for myself because the very act of re-engaging now will come across as needy and I need to build comfort AND re-establish some lost value.
So yeah, short and sweet 'Yo sexy' or something similar or a meme, I think.
But thanks for your feedback bro!
15 Posts (+31), 492 Cmts (+149)
Not only overgamey, just kind of cringey sexting. But maybe that's an Edinburgh thang.... also, so many emojis.
I think the fact that you haven't build any comfort with her at all is a problem. You're basically offering sex, and if sex is all that's on a menu if there are any hurdles (pandemic) it just ain't gonna work these days
5 Posts (+1), 8 Cmts (+1)
Haha! Yeah...it's not an Edinburgh thing, it's defo just a me thing. Tbf it was only a couple of messages and she seemed to dig it at the time so no real harm done with that in this particular instance. This particular girl was thankfully intrigued by it, I think. That said, I take the point.
I agree with the comfort thing - it was on my mind, but it seemed like we were on a roll although tbf she did try to slightly broaden the conversation by asking about relationship drama (that was a no-go though, pretty sure that would have impaired the interaction) and asking if I'd risked meeting anyone since being single - not a massive divergence, but still enough that my gamey "overcoming concerns" response clearly fell flat.
From here, I think - re-engage - if she responds - focus on comfort, re-establish some value after 2 or 3 messages, soft close then either hard close or number close.