Reengaging strong lead that went cold during sexualization
10 Posts (+141), 139 Cmts (+107)
Alex, curious your thoughts on what (if anything) went wrong here, and how to re-engage?
This girl was super invested in prior conversation, at least 2:1 were the length of her texts to my texts, and we'd messaged a fair bit before this.
She hard closed me, proposing a date and time that we get together, and it worked so I rolled with it. She insisted on a public meet though, and I hadn't had a chance to sexualize the convo at all, so I started to push it in that direction. Did I push it a bit too far with the final message? Thinking there was, she'd been super invested and compliant in the conversation, so I wanted to try to get her to qualify her comfort with her sexuality to help set the right frame for our date.
Was thinking of sending "But if you're not so comfortable with your sexuality, I'd totally understand!" to try to stick her in a shy/innocent frame and hopefully qualify herself.
1
2
4 Posts (+8), 9 Cmts (+3)
Bro you went too far. Instead of being a high value it looked like of bragging and self qualifying and at the same time it looked incongruent. She pushed you away n in reaction you changed. You know deep inside that when she pushed you away there was an emotional reaction inside you even if you didn't type or showed in messages but it's clearly visible
7 Posts (+12), 12 Cmts (+5)
I never understand why nobody wants to sexualize on the date ? It's not a loss if you didn't by text. You can still set the frame on the date.
I've actually never got a fuckdate because the girl delete me or doesn't approve of it when i try to sexualize by text, so i do it on the date
10 Posts (+141), 139 Cmts (+107)
I mean, Alex and David and Indian PE and many others on here have proven that successfully sexualizing by text greatly increases the chances of closing on the date.
You can see early on she's even quite compliant with the sexualization - she asks me to share the "R rated one"!
7 Posts (+12), 12 Cmts (+5)
Agreed. But even if you did, you can still do that on the date (like a girl you approached in the street and then met afterwards on a date) and close. Honestly all my dates on online apps have been like this (because i still can't pull off the David and Nitin hardcore sexualisation by text)
41 Posts (+235), 354 Cmts (+209)
this is really strong text game, you immediatley flipped the frame about having to take things slow...
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
I see what you are trying to do here, but this is not how I would sexualize the conversation. It's too wordy and more importantly, the phrasing sounds a bit weird. For instance, after her last text, I would of goe with some humor, "I know, all these girls trying to get in my pants..." Instead, you went with a detailed explanation of yourself which comes off a bit weird and low value.
I am also not a really big fan of your follow-up text which kind of demining and obviously button pushing. Instead, I would say something like "But before we get ahead of ourselves...do you like wine?"
10 Posts (+141), 139 Cmts (+107)
Got it. Thanks!