Reattracting a girl who’s pulled away
To make a long story short, met a girl at gym and there was huge initial interest. Things started off pretty intensely and we hooked up on the first date. Things were good for the week after but slowly started to fizzle out. I have my theories as to why, but the main ones include an ex coming back into the picture, and the second includes me validating her a bit too much after the first date which I imagine threw off the vibe she had of me. She seemed to have low self esteem and I figured the validation would help her be normal around me (she was initially very awkward and nervous), but in retrospect I think I might have overdone it. Im in pretty good shape and I know a number of girls at my gym have expressed interest in me, so I wonder if the fact that I was so “easy” kinda killed the mystery for her etc.
Last few dates she flaked and I just got a sense that her interest has been dropping for a bit now, so Ive left the ball in her court. Didnt chase and just kinda left it as is since given her lack of reciprocation it didnt make sense to try for more.
I know this is a “seduction” forum, and this is less more about the seduction aspect and more about the retention (possible long term) aspect of it. I dont have problem with seduction (aka getting dates, getting consistent sex, etc), but apparently im not so good at keeping girls around after... or at the very least Im very rusty.
With that said, outside of pulling away, maybe surrounding myself with other girls and possibly improving my looks a bit for the upcoming summer, are there any “techniques” within the seduction community for reattracting a girl? I imagine the prevailing advice is just move on, continue improving yourself, have abundance, etc. And these are kinda great tactics in general just for clearing your head and accepting the situation for what it is/moving on. But Im wondering if theres something more concrete as far as retracting a girl, much in the same way that certain techniques we employ usually trigger a predictable response within a girl when it comes to PUA etc.
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This is a very insightful and thought provoking post. Probably why you see a lot of gym bros with lesser attractive girls. Part of why good physique attracts women is the mental aspect of being turned on by dominance and strength. Visually they thing and conclude that you're quite a dominant man. But when you show too much of your soft side too early, this will happen a lot. that's why guys like indian pe get results with hot girls because he appeals to their mental aspect of wanting to be submissive rather than relying on the visual
You already know your answer. You overvalidated her. You fucking her "easily" isn't the issue. You tried to make her feel special and comfortable and that in turn got her to feel pressured by you and your possible expectations of wanting something serious. With insecure/nervous girls, you don't have to do much. Just sexually validate them by complimenting their ass or saying really dirty things "Fuck! Your pussy looks so good. I want to fuck it again"
These kind of compliments validate her just enough and also keeps things strictly sexual. They love to be objectified this way. Also, keep in mind that you should definitely perform really well in bed
And to answer your initial question, no. You can't reattract her unless you can show clear preselection. Tales of you fucking other girls at the gym and that jealousy and wanting to get that validation back from you because you've done the same with other girls. Now, she will want to feel special not from words, but from your attention and physical touch. Hope that makes sense