Please help me break down what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong on texts

2 Comments

2 Cmts

4y ago

Magic Chungus

7 Posts (+0)

37 Cmts (+9)

Magic Chungus

7 Posts (+0), 37 Cmts (+9)

So, been on Tinder since around May (also Bumble and Hinge but vast majority of matches are from Tinder).
Got 20 matches from Tinder, 4 from Bumble, 7 from Hinge.
6 numbers from Tinder, 2 from Bumble, 2 from Hinge. 3 meetups/dates from Tinder (1 lay), 1 date from Bumble, 0 dates from Hinge. Applying Alex's principle of "sending a text only takes about 20 seconds", that's what I've been doing with all cold leads. About 60-70% of my texts get opened, but only about 30% continue as conversations that turn into phone numbers.

Here's the most recent conversation I've had. For context, my Tinder bio originally read "I finally learned how to crack eggs one-handed", hence the inside humor about that. I had fun with the gifs on this one, I think that's important, like I've been literally cracking myself up sending this stuff but I don't know if that's a good indicator of whether I'm doing something right or if it's completely irrelevant. Anyway, here's the convo; I'm clearly too wordy (as evidence by this post and my texts) and I'm not doing a good job creating sexual tension. Critique away.

Trevor Teolis

3 Posts (+1), 14 Cmts (+6)

4y ago *

Overall, I'd say you're conversations are too platonic and don't build sexual tension or develop logistics for a date. The humor comes as goofy to me. It reminds me of Phil from Modern Family actually (which is not a bad thing in general, but for texting with women, it is bad). But the gifs were good in my opinion.

Here are some specific critiques:

"What is keeping you busy?" is a boring question with probably a boring answer (like work or school).
"Give me your number so I can teach you" sounds too demanding. Replacing "Give" with "Shoot" would help. In addition, it was a premature number close. There was no banter or positive emotions.
Instead of, "It'll cost you only $9.99", could say "I'll show you as long as you wear that outfit on our date" or something like that.
There's way too much investment in the follow-up texts. Should be using Alex's standard takeaways there. For instance: "don't think too hard", "don't get too excited", "are you always this talkative", "and the award for best texter goes to...", etc.
when she asks what you have planned for the day, you don't need to say exactly what you're doing (unless it's cool). Alex's standard "just finished a big workout, looking nice and fit for our date ;)" is good here. By the way, "don't overwork yourself, I need you fresh and well-rested for our lessons" is good.

Magic Chungus

7 Posts (+0), 37 Cmts (+9)

4y ago

I appreciate the feedback man! Agreed, I'm aware that my conversations tend to be too platonic, for some reason I struggle finding the right things to sexualize things early on.

I AM a very goofy dude and that has always worked for me, maybe you're right about it being bad when texting women whom I haven't met IRL yet. Once they've met me, they know I'm goofy and chill and they like that about me, they already know that when they see my texts, but if they've never met me before, I can see how the goofiness can be a turn off, so I'll tone it down.