Mistakes Were Made
20 Posts (+44), 109 Cmts (+59)
I went on a date with a woman I really clicked with online. I showed up and she basically rushed to give me a hug. Instantly I liked her, too much. Obviously you hold back a lot on the first few dates and ask her questions but she seemed genuinely curious about me so I talked about my life and she asked about my ex (avoid the topic at all costs). With hearts in my eyes I told her how it ended and all that. She was still interested and was giving me “fuck me eyes”. Instead of going for a kiss I wimped out and kept talking. Even after that she was still touching my arm and laughing at my stupid jokes. We left and went to a patio bar and I think this is where it was three strikes you’re out for me. She asked me what books I’d been reading and being buzzed I didn’t think anything about it when I said The Game by Neil Strauss. When she asked what it was about her whole mood changed and she challenged me on whether I believed in using manipulation to get women. Anyways, I walked her to her street, she gave a lame excuse when I tried to kiss her goodnight. Text her the next day (don’t do this) and she didn’t really respond. I waited a few days with a weak “It was fun the other night, we should do it again if you want” (don’t do this either) and got the dreaded “It was fun but didn’t feel that spark” response.
Always remember, let her do the talking, avoid negative topics and exes, push forward physically if you see signs of attraction, don’t bring up anything controversial, if you didn’t set up the second date at the end of the first one don’t text her until she texts back. And never ever tell her you’re involved in any way with pick up.
Half the battle is showing up. Congrats bro. I guarantee you won’t forget these. They’re annoying asf. Consider meditation and breathing exercises, they help me avoid choosing those not so beneficial topics in every day conversations
18 Posts (+1), 36 Cmts (+9)
Those were some rough mistakes but at least you recognize that. Im sure you won’t make the same ones again after this experience.
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
Yup. Absolutely never tell a girl you've read "The Game" or have learned pick up. It will always lead to a frame battle
20 Posts (+44), 109 Cmts (+59)
Yeah it also reminded me to control my booze intake since I realized it was stupid as soon as I said it.
14 Posts (+2), 48 Cmts (+16)
Can I ask if you were genuinely attracted to this girl? As my game and looks have improved, ive experienced attention from more women obviously. Im in a mindset that sometimes if a girl im not very attracted to starts giving me signs she attracted i capitalize and get a date with her. The problem is mid date I realize "hey, im really not into this girl as much as I thought I was... shes not even that hot" or whatever, and then i start to self sabotage the date (friendframing, not going for the close, too much deep convo and not enough flirting, saying something dumb).
I actually broke a barrier realizing this, now I know that my game is actually much stronger and more on point when Im with a girl im genuinely attracted to. Maybe you self sabotaged for this reason. Either way, a learning experience for sure. Definitely dont mention anything about pickup, redpill, game or dating coaches while youre on a date, unless the girl is already cool and aware of the manosphere and you know that. Now, if a girl is already invested and youve been with her for a while, you can actually convert her and shell be cool about game and pickup and all that, but thats a different story altogether
20 Posts (+44), 109 Cmts (+59)
She was a 6 and her personality was an 8. For me I think it’s like the 4-minute mile. I haven’t really been physical with any girl I’m actually into (I banged a 4 from Tinder which was just a straight hookup). My marriage lasted a long time and I only dated a handful of women before I met my ex (I was only 21). It’s really just once I break the barrier and see that it’s okay, like with approaching, then I’ll be way more comfortable escalating.
1 Post (+1), 9 Cmts (+11)
Thank you for sharing your experience just don't be hard on yourself you learned a lot from the experience and it will only make when you meet an even more awesome girl go even better.
20 Posts (+44), 109 Cmts (+59)
That’s 100% how I view it. There’s so many women out there I see this as batting practice. A few months ago though I wouldn’t have known where I screwed up.