Intro and what I will be doing from here (Week 0)
3 Posts (+2), 7 Cmts (+0)
So today is a bad day. I got a text from a Japanese girl that, to be honest, I didn't remember all that well and she seemed to wanna go out and have fun with me. I texted her back and she seemed really excited but it turned out she actually had the wrong number and when she remembered it was ME she instantly lost any interest whatsoever in continuing the conversation. She meant to text another guy with my name (Ricardo), I will attach an image of the guy she wanted to go out with instead for a few reasons. One, it will remind me that it can't possibly get any lower than this, and two, whenever you guys who are reading this feel shitty about yourselves, remember that I lost to a guy who is easily over 50 and bald as a motherfucker.
My name is Ricardo, I'm 27 years old and will be 28 in June, I currently live in Portugal and I recently got back into university (will graduate next year) and I'll start living alone for the first time in March. My lay count is somewhere in the low dozens (close to 20) and with only a few exceptions, every girl I've been with was someone that I am not attracted to, I just fucked them cause I had no other options. I had an ex-girlfriend I really liked but we broke up. The girls I've banged aren't necessarily bad-looking but I seem to only be attracted to Asian girls, I know how to speak Japanese and am currently studying Mandarin, I do some English teaching on the side but I don't charge for it. I will try to list my traits as objectively as I can manage below.
Strengths:
- Handsome(ish)
- Sociable
- Bold (not afraid to approach in the least)
- Have future prospects / ambitious
Weaknesses:
- Overweight close to obese
- Despite being sociable I don't display desirable alpha traits, overall a bit girly and conciliatory when talking to people
- Dogshit online game (Terrible tinder pics/ sub-par texting)
The reason I am making this post is this: I hate that I'm not improving myself as much as I could and I'm sick and tired of having the girls I actually care about lose interest in me and start to see me as a friend. I wanna stop being a pussy who keeps accepting being a mediocre human when I know I have a killer somewhere inside me. I've decided that is the day that I stop lamenting my bad luck and I start working to change it. From today, I will be working towards maximizing my SMV, changing my attitude, and ultimately reaching a place where I can get a high volume of girls that I'm attracted to. Obviously, since I live in Portugal that's not gonna be doable that early (I plan to move to an Asian country when I graduate) but there are still white girls I like and I know like 70% of the Chinese girls here in my city. In any case, I can certainly be doing more than just sitting on my ass and playing video games that I don't even like. I'll focus on getting better until I become a man that I'm proud of being.
That's where this "diary" comes in. I want you guys to keep me honest, I'm gonna post my progress on a weekly basis here's what I've planned for this week:
1- Workout every day at home and go for a walk (I can't manage running quite yet)
2- Stop being a constant jokester around the girls I'm into ( I go out with a few every week)
3- Limit my jerking off to twice a week for now
4- Leave my house every day and study mandarin at the mall
5- Eat healthily and drink water, I will allow a cheat night on Saturday
6- Try to groom myself better, I'm terrible at keeping my beard not gay and my presentation is bad
My next big milestone objective is to get into shape and not be such a mess in terms of looks, I'm not an ugly guy by any means but I'm way too overweight and my hygiene and presentation could be better. I also dress a bit hobo-ish. So I will consider this first step complete when I can take photos of myself that I am proud of, and when that happens, I'm gonna invest in a professional photo shoot so I can get my tinder game in order. This is the first step, I'm predicting 4-6 months of working out every day and controlling my diet.
Thanks to PWF I managed to get my texting game to a very acceptable level, I use the app "Tandem" which is a language learning app to talk to Asian girls and I've been having around 80% of the girls I like be into me and agreeing to come to visit me in Portugal which is kind of an insane transformation, but I can't rely on girls that live so far away and I need to make progress here where I live. I'm just writing this little section to tell you guys that if you really take in what Alex teaches you, you WILL see results. For me it was somewhat of a day-night transformation, girls on tandem never used to reply but now almost every girl texts me excitedly. Now I just need to get my online profiles in order so girls actually swipe on me (I get swiped about once every 2 weeks on tinder, and they're always 3 or 4s, but since I can text girls without swiping on tandem it works MUCH better, same with OKCUPID actually).
That's it for this first post, next Sunday I WILL post an update and I will be brutally honest about my progress. Thanks for your time guys, if you have suggestions please do contact me, also if you're in Portugal and wanna work together hmu.
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32 Posts (+30), 113 Cmts (+43)
Bro the fact that you are shaming another guy shows that it is more than just your appearance that is fucking up your chances with women. Comparing yourself to other men is never going to lead to happiness in regards to seduction because there will always be someone better looking than you or less attractive than you with more game. Compare yourself to your past self and if you want to look at others, look to draw inspiration rather than judgement.
Working out, eating healthy and dressing better is a good start though and it looks like you are committed to improving so good luck!
3 Posts (+2), 7 Cmts (+0)
Point taken, I'll work on improving my superficiality as well. Thanks for the feedback!
Edit: I Felt like my response was a bit quick and dismissive. You're absolutely right and I need to stop blaming other people for my shit. Thanks, Michael I sincerely appreciate your honest attempt to help me.
5 Posts (+2), 372 Cmts (+206)
Read and follow https://easypeasymethod.org/ . Limit the control that jerking off has over to you, to zero, when you've read and understood the book. I personally vouch that Easy Peasy Method is simple and effective using solid psychological principles.
3 Posts (+2), 7 Cmts (+0)
I'll give it a read. Thanks for the feedback again, you guys are helping out way beyond what I expected. Thanks for real
10 Posts (+1), 471 Cmts (+173)
i would say all of those plans are good except for a couple. Limit your jerking off to 0 eventually because you want to be having all those real sexual experiences with women, not yourself. If you keep fapping, you're going to keep spinning on the hamster wheel forever & ever. Because to me, it sounds like a way for you to escape your real world problems, which is not good at all. And, as for your cheat night on saturday, that's a bad thing as well. I knew quite a lot of obese guys that would say that & every single one of them never made progress until all the way through. They subconsiously wanted to live their old lifestyles until they realized they couldn't be like that anymore. And you know that. I can prove it. All you need to do is sit on your bed & meditate and just think of what you're doing wrong. You're going to come up with an answer quick if you set the bar low for any answer. And 100% OF THE TIME, it's going to bed one you don't want to do, yet it's the most necessary. Well, there's my two cents. Enjoy the pursuit of happiness G
3 Posts (+2), 7 Cmts (+0)
Jake can't thank you enough for the honest feedback. That thing you said about the cheat day really resonated with me and you're absolutely right, I might stumble a couple of times but I'll try to keep my diet permanently good. Jerking off is something I plan on doing away with entirely but for now I'm not sure I can do it cold-turkey. But seriously man thanks, I'll start doing at least a few mins of meditation.