How to set Man to Woman frame
How do you set a man to woman frame with someone you have been more on the friendly side with? How do you start flirting without making it awkward?
What would be a good approach to take or framework to get the girl to think of you as a romantic partner rather than just a friend or a buddy?
12 Posts (+12), 81 Cmts (+41)
This is a loaded question man. In short what I've seen worked for me, is you pull away for a couple of weeks or months, without being douchy (don't ghost her, just say you're busy, or is dating a girl), you concentrate on other girls, you get experience with them, and once you feel comfortable and it's been enough time, you contact this girl and ask her out directly, hey I like you would you like to go on a date. And if she say no, you move on.
Problem with this is that you're still "working" for her, and this can cause one-itis. Also it's harder since you guys got history, so she may default to her previous idea of you. Unless you can confidently show (without telling) that you've changed, she might not buy it.
Seriously best to move on, until this girl isn't that important, then that's usually when things do happen. Make YOU and OTHER girls your focus. If you're too focused here, you might have one-itis.
Hey man, thanks for responding.
By the way, I am not referring to any specific girl, but to give an example, I just met a girl about 3 weeks or so ago in a class. We have not built a set frame, and I think this is the window of time I have before I solidify in her mind what kind of person I am to her; however, in our conversations, we have mostly had logical conversations on getting to know each other and I have tried to make our conversations fun from time to time mainly by being a little goofy, but not to the extent that I am flirting with her. One thing that I think I have done better is that ever since I got her number I have used the "we" frame to make our conversations more about us both doing things together.
Something I want to mention as well is that in my mind I am planning on making her more of a friend to me first before I explore anything more since we have been seeing each other in a class at least once a week, but I am not sure that if ever I do want to get to something more it will all already be set in a friendly frame and make it very hard to get to a more intimate frame.
So, what I am trying to do is, I am trying to set a frame that she may see me as potential and respects me as such even though we may not ever end up doing anything. I want to be able to build that comfort level and have that more intimate dynamic if I ever want to exercise that option in the future, if that makes sense
12 Posts (+12), 81 Cmts (+41)
Ok, I think I understand you better. So what I understand is you want to be friends with "x" girl, you want to keep it, friends, but want her wanting you, just in case you end up deciding you want her later on?? Kind of odd to me, as I separate the two, and when that happens to me it's completely organic. Mostly because I choose not to do anything ie, people you work with, or live with, or are FWB of your friends, students (my age)... I consciously choose not to pursue, and some times I get chased/hinted at times by the same people I've mentioned.
So I guess what you would want is to do is build/create value, and flirt but don't sexualize or joke about making plans because then the girl might be expecting for something to happen, and I assumed after not seeing something happening, she'll probably get confused.
Does that help you or is there a specific thing you're having trouble with?
395 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
Generally, the best thing you can do is to have that flirty vibe from the start. But, if that didn't happen then theirs still hope. Check out this article, which goes over getting out of the friend zone in much greater detail.
https://www.playingfire.com/how-to-get-out-of-the-friendzone-my-6-month-experiment/